i treated myself to a papasan chair and ottoman - wait...is it still an ottoman when it's not one of those that go with the nice couches? anywho...i've wanted a papasan since i was a kid and saw one at my cousin's house in jersey. they're the most comfortable thing! yay yay! so i finally gave in and treated myself since i'm working more now and taking 18 credits. i felt i deserved a present. :) now...i can read, knit, nap, watch movies/tv, listen to music, and think...all in the chair. so awesome. it's a nice "natural" wood color - meaning not the cherry wood (dark) color and the cushion is a nice olive green. it's so lovely. *happy sigh*

oh, and i took the bus to school this morning and it took about 25 minutes and i got to read on the bus. i've discovered that i rather enjoy taking the bus and not driving, even if it does take twice as long. i think it's because i get to read or just relax and not get all worked up about fighting through traffic. it's rather calming.

i forgot to mention how "chinese" i was at the wedding/reception. after everything was over, erming allowed us to raid the table decorations, so annie, jeanette, joyce, and i took home a bunch of peach and cream roses and gerber daisy arrangements! wahoo for free stuff - especially gerber daisies - because they're like the happiest flowers on earth! hooray for gerber daisies! and the wedding favors were cool too, magnets with photos of james and joana on them, as if they were color film negatives. and for being wedding helpers, they gave us presents. yay!

weekends pass by so fast. i went to james and joana's [people from my church] wedding today and it was so much fun. everything about the wedding reflected so much of who they are. instead of a traditional wedding processional, the bride walked down the aisle to the "going to the chapel, and we're gonna get married" song. so awesome. the actual ceremony was like 20 minutes max - quick and to the point. they had a jazz trio play for a bit and also friends and family who sang. james' brother and friend sang At Last - the etta james song. it was way cool as that is a current favorite. the slide show was great and had fun music - the grease medley summer nights, greased lightning, and that "you'd better shape up" song. it's one of the funnest weddings i've been to because it was so different and unique to their personalities. afterwards, since we all were dressed up and pretty, we went to have dessert at the georgian room at the four seasons hotel downtown - it was posh and swank as expected, and i felt totally out of place - way too sophisticated for me.

now i have to wash the styling lotion crap out of my hair... oh yea...so earlier today, in an effort to fit in all pretty at the wedding, i decided to curl my hair... yea...i suck at the primping and styling. for awhile, it was looking like i was electrocuted. good thing water calmed it down. i think that there should be like a crash course lesson or something for girls, like "how to..." and fill in the blank with stuff like ...to apply makeup or ...style your hair or ...dress well. of course...not all girls need such help, just a few of us.

praise the Lord for daylight savings and an extra hour of sleep!

yay yay...almost the end of another week of school. i should be hearing about my status as a spanish major [either i'm in or not] in a week or so. i'm looking forward to the end of tomorrow so i can rest for a bit...before having to start the week all over again. i think i would seriously enjoy school so much more if homework, test, and class participation didn't exist. i like going to class to listen and soak up information. eh.

i was at aacf earlier tonight and pastor jonathan from jpc shared some words about passion and purpose. it was really cool and i'm really glad that i woke up from my nap to go. it's nice to be reminded that every life has a purpose and that even though we may not know or be able to see what it is right now, it's there - waiting for us to catch up. he listed some examples of Biblical people who were great examples of people who lived with purpose and passion. i list those later. for now, i need to sleep because my eyes have gone all buggy-weird from staring at this screen too long as i wrote my paper - in spanish no less.

it turns out that expressing my thoughts through my blog outlet in conjunction with sharing things with people has a peaceful effect. peaceful in the sense that some stuff that was annoying me, is no longer that annoying.

in other news, my cartilage piercing looks like it's getting infected and swollen, which is a bummer considering i was seriously thinking about getting a new one under that one. boo. i guess i'll just have to wait and see.

and, i feel like i'm finally settling into a groove for my school-work-ministry-play-sleep pattern. routine in this sense is so nice to have - because constant chaos takes its toll.

fear of emotional proximity/intimacy. if one has such a fear, it pretty much prevents all others from moving beyond a certain point - in terms of the depth of the friendship/relationship. it's surprisingly easy to keep people at a distance and to maybe even fool them into thinking that they've moved past that invisible wall that one has built. then maybe the only one being fooled is the one with the wall.

i was sitting in church today listening to the message. and the thought of "no man is an island" came to me. it occurred to me that i've tried to be that island - whether it was intentional, i'm not quite sure. in the last few crazy and busy weeks - i've gotten to do some thinking. i feel like i'm at a crossroads. i've gotten as far as i'm ever going to get with God - unless i can truly let the rest of that wall be broken down. i think i've kidded myself into thinking that it was a non-issue, that wall, but of course...duh...it's like the biggest issue in my life. it's easier on the heart to just keep it locked away and hidden, because then all the bad things would never get to it. of course that also prevents all the good things too. there was some movie that i watched - something with two characters having a dialogue - one person said - "i'd rather feel pain, than nothing at all" - or something like that - but it was an accusation about the other person, but i guess it might as well have been me. hmmph.

on a whole other note - in keeping with my attempts of using humor to buffer all that is serious - i saw the transporter again and i decided that i'm totally marrying ex-military/spy/guy who can beat people up and save the world all in one day. let me add that he has to be a God-loving and God-fearing man in the first place and then the neato action hero stuff second. oh, and the movie was unintentionally funny and totally enjoyable - at least i think it is. fun stuff.

ahora, estoy cansada. esta mañana, yo fui a mi trabajo que pasó un poco mal porque yo sólo hice tareas poco inteligentes. después, yo fui a bell. square con mi amiga para ir de compras - pero nosotras no compramos nada. yo vi una película - del género comedia romántico - y yo pensaba en esta cuestión: ¿es posible que ser una persona cínica y agotada y al mismo tiempo, ser una persona que tiene la esperanza para todas las cosas buenas?

ay...el drama de la vida...

anoche, algunos amigos llegaron a nuestro casa para pasar el tiempo con juegos como tribond. por eso, yo echo de menos los días, recuerdos y la comunidad de los apartamentos del año pasado. pero, me gusta mucho el lugar que yo vivo ahora porque hay muchos oportunidades de hablar con ellas [mis amigas y compañeras de habitación] al final del día, como esta noche. fue muy divertida de hablar y bromear con ellas.

bah! i'm hating CISB with a vengeance right now. stupid track meetings every week. boo. ok, i'm just bitter because i had a chance to see the ring for free at the hub tonight except that my track meeting didn't end until 30 minutes after the movie started and by then the doors were closed. i'm just mad because it was a free movie that looked scary and interesting, and now all the people who probably would've paid to see will have already seen it and i'll just have to wait for it on video. what a suck. and all we did at the meeting was introduce ourselves in spanish, which isn't vital or anything. bah. and a "bitter person" sounds better in spanish - amargada - it sounds less bitter or something.

wendy just showed me a smurf name generator...haha. i'm "pimpin' smurf" or "stoolie smurf" - depending on whether i went with steph or stephenie. interesting. try it. smurf name generator

i had a volleyball game yesterday and i hadn't played since winter quarter last year. my arms are totally sore - like so sore that i had trouble gripping my pencil. i'd like to think that it's only because my forearm took a bruising digging from the backrow, but i think it's just because my muscles have been little used.

As Stephenie you are rather serious-minded, responsible, and stable. You have the gift of tact and diplomacy, and possess a charming, easy-going nature which endears you to others. You have a serious desire to understand the heart and mind of everyone, and could be very effective in a career or in volunteer work where you are handling people and serving in a humanitarian way. This name also gives you a love of home and family, and as a parent you would likely be fair and understanding. You remember the thoughtful little expressions of affection and appreciation that mean so much to others, and you have the ability to create a warm and loving environment. However, you tend to put things off and avoid facing issues because of a lack of confidence and uncertainty. You often need encouragement from someone before you can come to a decision. This name creates a generally well-balanced and healthy nature, but any weakness in the health would cause problems in the fluid functions, such as kidney or bladder trouble, overweight, or swelling of the legs and ankles.


eh...i finally caved after shiv said her name "analysis" had some insights. i have to disagree with having the "gift of tact and diplomacy" but the stuff in bold is pretty on target. and the health thing...like i didn't have a complex already.

anyway...what i've learned in school over the last week:

• the spanish word for handcuffs is "las esposas" - incidentally, the word for wife is "la esposa." boo.
  
• the US is the only country that uses a 12-digit barcode - everyone else uses 13. big surprise with the whole non-conforming thing. did someone say metric system?
  
• people little knowledge of the creation story found in the Bible [Genesis]. sad.
  

on a different note, kristie invited some peeps [much of the ol' maplewood gang] to celebrate my belated birthday at tacos guaymas - i had a sangria...and i have to say...i'd prefer more juice and less alcohol - which i suppose would defeat the purpose of it being all red wine and stuff. eh. anywho...it was fun. then we all watched alias back at the house with mud pie as dessert! yum! oh, and i found out this morning that noah ditched caleb's birthday dinner for hanging out with us - probably because he rarely sees us - 'cept abe since they're roommies :) [sorry caleb...tanks noah]

oh...and ryan and dennis got me a care bear...with their own modifications to the packaging. it was friend bear, but everytime it said "friend" on the packaging, they'd changed it to read "boyfriend" - which was pretty hilarious. i think i'll leave it in the box for a bit. now i need to finish homework...but maybe i'll sneak in an ice cream break :)

i was working on a homework assignment earlier and was browsing the internet people pages and i stumbled across a site - us search or something like that. anyway...you can search for information on people so i searched using my name just to see what kind of information is floating out there in cyberspace about me. and i actually found myself. for $9.95 i can find basic info, and for like $59.95, i can get a report of all the places i've ever lived and apparently, my roommates and possible neighbors. it's kind of creepy. like...people can just buy information about other people. so wrong - it's like practically advertising identity theft...or at least aiding stalkers. ok...i'm paranoid but i think i have good reason to be.

reflection of the day: maybe hermits have the right idea afterall.

grr...i had just typed out this long thing...and now it's disappeared...this stinks.

anywho...in the midst of my hectic first week of classes, i forgot to share my big revelation - i am toula [from my big fat greek wedding] except i'm not greek and i'm not 30+ years old. aside from those differences - it sort of fits. anyway...i was talking to my mom on the phone last wednesday when it happened and if i was a third party watching this converation take place, i would've been rollin' with the laughter because it was hilarious - it just would've been funnier had it not been my experience. witness the following evidence:

• my parents think i'm doomed to not marry [but seriously...i'm only 22 and they make it sound like i'm like 80 or something]
  
• i have relatives harrassing me - my aunt and grandma [on my dad's side] keep trying to sell me off to people - they're all pimp-like...ok...it's not that bad and i totally exaggerate...but i'm just mad because they won't take "NO/NOT INTERESTED" for an answer
  
• my parents and all relatives want me to marry - not a greek boy - but a nice chinese boy [and "nice" means massive earning potential in their eyes]
  
• my parents are totally unbalanced - which means they're completely nuts - much like toula's parents - only not as comically funny
  
• my parents own a restaurant [chinese - not greek] and like to tell stories of "back in the day..." or "when we were growing up..." blah blah blah
  

are we seeing the parallels here? i mean...shoot...you'd think they would be supporting me against the deranged that is my aunt and grandma, but no, they're totally tossing me to the pimps...i mean...to them. i mean...where's the love and parental support here?!? seriously...this is why i have issues...who wouldn't with a family like this? talk about the years of damage... eesh. and people wonder why i'm such a spaz...you'd be a spaz too if you had this fam - though i love my parents anyway of course.

ok...moving on...

i got the scorpion king [courtesy of chong - thank you very much]. very cool - considering it's one of those no brain/no thinking cheesy-fun movies - plus it has the rock - way fun-fun. wahoo. :)

hmm...i was browsing online and stumbled across a list of phobias, listed by alphabetical order. anyway, it has names for all these random fears, like fear of bald people, or the fear of wax figures - odd stuff like that, though on some of them, it seems like they just tacked on "phobia" to a random prefix to make up a phobia. but in all those phobias, i didn't see one for the fear of taking a risk[s]. i've been forming a conclusion that i suffer from the fear of taking a risk...but behind that is probably the fear of failure or something psychological like that. and behind that, the root of it, it probably stemming from not fully trusting in God.

where is all this coming from? i'm not quite sure. maybe it's because i turned 22 today and because i finished my first week of my senior year. i'm graduating college and i feel like though i've done a lot, i might have skipped out on some things because i wasn't willing to trust God and take a risk. hrm. ok...so...being a new year marking the day i was delivered from the womb :) i decided that i'm going to stop doing what i always do - not doing the freedom thing due to fear or some other lame-o reason - you know...all that stuff they teach you at church or fellowship or whatever about being free. i think that definitely, i've carried junk from previous experience or whatever that's kept me from living the wild and abandoned and full life that is in Christ - so...i guess...here i go...

i finished my second day of class, so by now, i've gone to all 4 of my classes. tuesdays and thursday will most definitely be my phatty long days - with work in the morning for 1.5 hours and then 6 hours of class...6! it does go by quicker than i would've thought, but by the time i get home, i have time to eat dinner, and then start homework. eesh...i have this feeling that i might have taken up more than i can handle with 18 credits, but we'll see. and in addition to the classes, there's law lib work and issaquah work too...which amounts to like 20 hours a week i think. i know tons of other people work part-time and go to school full time but i don't think i can hang with the big kids on this one. i predict burnout.

on the different note, i was sitting in my spanish intro to literary studies class today and our prof was taking roll, and he called out "coralie...coralie...?" i was like "!!!" cora would've been in my class! bummer that she's not because it would've been so much fun! *sigh* although i feel like i've been introduced to too many people in the last 2 days - mostly froshie kids. i'm totally borderline introvert/extrovert and while i'm totally ok with the meeting of new people and holding conversation for however long [because i'm talented like that], i still relish the escape into smaller people settings. i wonder when large groups of people started to make me wish for alone time in my room...with the door closed. i'm thinking - i'm totally meant to be a recluse.