i treated myself to a papasan chair and ottoman - wait...is it still an ottoman when it's not one of those that go with the nice couches? anywho...i've wanted a papasan since i was a kid and saw one at my cousin's house in jersey. they're the most comfortable thing! yay yay! so i finally gave in and treated myself since i'm working more now and taking 18 credits. i felt i deserved a present. :) now...i can read, knit, nap, watch movies/tv, listen to music, and think...all in the chair. so awesome. it's a nice "natural" wood color - meaning not the cherry wood (dark) color and the cushion is a nice olive green. it's so lovely. *happy sigh*

oh, and i took the bus to school this morning and it took about 25 minutes and i got to read on the bus. i've discovered that i rather enjoy taking the bus and not driving, even if it does take twice as long. i think it's because i get to read or just relax and not get all worked up about fighting through traffic. it's rather calming.

i forgot to mention how "chinese" i was at the wedding/reception. after everything was over, erming allowed us to raid the table decorations, so annie, jeanette, joyce, and i took home a bunch of peach and cream roses and gerber daisy arrangements! wahoo for free stuff - especially gerber daisies - because they're like the happiest flowers on earth! hooray for gerber daisies! and the wedding favors were cool too, magnets with photos of james and joana on them, as if they were color film negatives. and for being wedding helpers, they gave us presents. yay!

weekends pass by so fast. i went to james and joana's [people from my church] wedding today and it was so much fun. everything about the wedding reflected so much of who they are. instead of a traditional wedding processional, the bride walked down the aisle to the "going to the chapel, and we're gonna get married" song. so awesome. the actual ceremony was like 20 minutes max - quick and to the point. they had a jazz trio play for a bit and also friends and family who sang. james' brother and friend sang At Last - the etta james song. it was way cool as that is a current favorite. the slide show was great and had fun music - the grease medley summer nights, greased lightning, and that "you'd better shape up" song. it's one of the funnest weddings i've been to because it was so different and unique to their personalities. afterwards, since we all were dressed up and pretty, we went to have dessert at the georgian room at the four seasons hotel downtown - it was posh and swank as expected, and i felt totally out of place - way too sophisticated for me.

now i have to wash the styling lotion crap out of my hair... oh yea...so earlier today, in an effort to fit in all pretty at the wedding, i decided to curl my hair... yea...i suck at the primping and styling. for awhile, it was looking like i was electrocuted. good thing water calmed it down. i think that there should be like a crash course lesson or something for girls, like "how to..." and fill in the blank with stuff like ...to apply makeup or ...style your hair or ...dress well. of course...not all girls need such help, just a few of us.

praise the Lord for daylight savings and an extra hour of sleep!

yay yay...almost the end of another week of school. i should be hearing about my status as a spanish major [either i'm in or not] in a week or so. i'm looking forward to the end of tomorrow so i can rest for a bit...before having to start the week all over again. i think i would seriously enjoy school so much more if homework, test, and class participation didn't exist. i like going to class to listen and soak up information. eh.

i was at aacf earlier tonight and pastor jonathan from jpc shared some words about passion and purpose. it was really cool and i'm really glad that i woke up from my nap to go. it's nice to be reminded that every life has a purpose and that even though we may not know or be able to see what it is right now, it's there - waiting for us to catch up. he listed some examples of Biblical people who were great examples of people who lived with purpose and passion. i list those later. for now, i need to sleep because my eyes have gone all buggy-weird from staring at this screen too long as i wrote my paper - in spanish no less.

it turns out that expressing my thoughts through my blog outlet in conjunction with sharing things with people has a peaceful effect. peaceful in the sense that some stuff that was annoying me, is no longer that annoying.

in other news, my cartilage piercing looks like it's getting infected and swollen, which is a bummer considering i was seriously thinking about getting a new one under that one. boo. i guess i'll just have to wait and see.

and, i feel like i'm finally settling into a groove for my school-work-ministry-play-sleep pattern. routine in this sense is so nice to have - because constant chaos takes its toll.

fear of emotional proximity/intimacy. if one has such a fear, it pretty much prevents all others from moving beyond a certain point - in terms of the depth of the friendship/relationship. it's surprisingly easy to keep people at a distance and to maybe even fool them into thinking that they've moved past that invisible wall that one has built. then maybe the only one being fooled is the one with the wall.

i was sitting in church today listening to the message. and the thought of "no man is an island" came to me. it occurred to me that i've tried to be that island - whether it was intentional, i'm not quite sure. in the last few crazy and busy weeks - i've gotten to do some thinking. i feel like i'm at a crossroads. i've gotten as far as i'm ever going to get with God - unless i can truly let the rest of that wall be broken down. i think i've kidded myself into thinking that it was a non-issue, that wall, but of course...duh...it's like the biggest issue in my life. it's easier on the heart to just keep it locked away and hidden, because then all the bad things would never get to it. of course that also prevents all the good things too. there was some movie that i watched - something with two characters having a dialogue - one person said - "i'd rather feel pain, than nothing at all" - or something like that - but it was an accusation about the other person, but i guess it might as well have been me. hmmph.

on a whole other note - in keeping with my attempts of using humor to buffer all that is serious - i saw the transporter again and i decided that i'm totally marrying ex-military/spy/guy who can beat people up and save the world all in one day. let me add that he has to be a God-loving and God-fearing man in the first place and then the neato action hero stuff second. oh, and the movie was unintentionally funny and totally enjoyable - at least i think it is. fun stuff.

ahora, estoy cansada. esta mañana, yo fui a mi trabajo que pasó un poco mal porque yo sólo hice tareas poco inteligentes. después, yo fui a bell. square con mi amiga para ir de compras - pero nosotras no compramos nada. yo vi una película - del género comedia romántico - y yo pensaba en esta cuestión: ¿es posible que ser una persona cínica y agotada y al mismo tiempo, ser una persona que tiene la esperanza para todas las cosas buenas?

ay...el drama de la vida...

anoche, algunos amigos llegaron a nuestro casa para pasar el tiempo con juegos como tribond. por eso, yo echo de menos los días, recuerdos y la comunidad de los apartamentos del año pasado. pero, me gusta mucho el lugar que yo vivo ahora porque hay muchos oportunidades de hablar con ellas [mis amigas y compañeras de habitación] al final del día, como esta noche. fue muy divertida de hablar y bromear con ellas.