the Word alive

sometimes, it really feels like life is kicking you when you're down. i think that the last week and half have been rough, with a various assortment of things that have to be done. the pressure that had sort of backed off has returned full force and anxiety seems to be making itself comfortable. but, just when you think there isn't any silver lining on the dark cloud, God used awesome friends to pray for and encourage me. truly, hebrews 12 is coming alive - my great cloud of witnesses reminds me to throw off all that hinders and to run the race marked out for me.

reflection

it's been said that students tend to be a reflection of the classroom teacher. if the teacher is super high-strung, then students might reflect the same tendencies. if the teacher is really relaxed and mellow, then students might tend to be mellow. hmm...looking at my own classroom, it makes me wonder what vibe the kids are getting from me and whether or not their attitudes, etc area reflection of mine.

randomly, one of the girls in my class wrote me a super sweet letter. somewhere in it, she said that i was like a second mom to her.

later in the day, one boy called another boy a "momma's boy" which made that boy cry. a third boy, walked over and joked with him until he wasn't upset anymore. the name-caller felt really bad - he was contrite. teaching kids to be kind and building their character is hard work. equally difficult, teaching them academic content.

the other day, school pictures were delivered to the office. jenny and i were down there and decided to dig through to find our class pictures. seriously, the kids in my class are pretty cute and adorable on photo paper - but all 32 of them together, physically present in front of me - and all cuteness goes out the window. hahaha...poor kids.

teaching in the undertow

my classes with UCLA start last week. one of the articles we were assigned to read for tomorrow afternoon/evening's class is titled "teaching in the undertow." the undertow consists of the traditional way of schooling - where teachers direct students all day long and students sit there as passive absorbers of information (everything social justice education stands against). the heart of the article hit on all of the struggles that teacher who believe in critical pedagogy face each day in the classroom and how easy it is to get carried away by the current. the interesting advice was this, if we keep swimming against the current, we'll tire and burn out. but, rather, we should swim with it a little (so pick and choose which battles to fight for) and then when it's time, swim free towards your goal, be it the shore or whatever. i'm digging the ocean metaphor - if for no other reason that at times, teaching feels like drowning - especially if you're sick - which today, i am.

in another reading, i found the following quote, which i really liked:

teaching involves a search for meaning in teh world. teaching is a life project, a calling, a vocation that is an organizing center of all other activities. teaching is past and future as well as present, it is background as well as foreground, it is depth as well as surface. teaching is pain and humor, joy and anger, dreariness and epiphany. teaching is world building, it is architecture and design, it is purpose and moral enterprise. teaching is a way of being in the world that breaks through the boundaries of the traditional job and in the process redefines all life and teaching itself.

- william ayers (professor of education at the university of illinois - chicago)

birthday blessings

so my birthday friday started out with a poster, a paper tiara, and a song. a friend that teaches 5th grade across the hall from me sent 4 of her students in and they sang "happy birthday" to me. it was supremely cute and sweet. my students, of course, went all sorts of crazy. they wanted to know how old i was, what my favorite color was, if i had a boyfriend. oh my goodness...it was like a free for all on asking questions. after i got them focused back on getting started with a regular day, i knew the rest of the day was going to be crazy. all day long, students were leaving me notes and cards they'd made. haha...they thought they were being all stealthy, like trying to ask "normal" every time i walked by. so funny. one kid even tried to give me $0.50 as a birthday gift. so cute!

after school, a bunch of friends from school (teachers) went out to el cholo for happy hour, only to discover that they no longer had happy hour. bummer. we hung out and snacked. it was really fun! after that, it was off to a birthday dinner at BCD with 20-some people. crazy. it was so awesome that people came out to k-town to celebrate, even if we had to be clustered at different tables. haha..we took up a whole side of the back room and at one point, were "shushed" by one of the servers. but then, to be fair, some people had been chanting "bite the fish" as if they had some latent frat gene. :)

the after party was at MJ's place with cake, snacks, and presents - including a very elaborate game show like process - which was hopefully entertaining to everybody else because i thought it was pretty darn funny.

thanks to everybody who came out!!! i seriously felt (and still feel) so lucky! i was thinking about that earlier today too, as i was on campus after my class.

so blessed by everyone who:

called

e-mailed

sent a card

came to dinner

got me cake and gifts

prayed (and continues to pray) for me

birthday wished by blog

cooked for me

let me share about the craziness of working/teaching

helped me grade papers ever since i started teaching

has gotten me to play against my better judgment and thereby helped keep my sanity and some semblance of a social/real life

encouraged (and still encourages) me

there are more things than i can even count or remember that i have to be grateful for. i have truly been blessed over the last 26 years. plus, my mom even called on my actual birthday! normally, she forgets and i call her first...hahaha.

i feel like i forgot to be appreciative of something... darn...i hope it's just a nagging feeling and not really because i did forget something...

i am thankful for my communities - near and far.

i heart family and friends

i feel so blessed to have such an amazing group of family and friends in my life. i hadn't talked to wendy in forever - so it was awesome to catch up a couple of days ago. and just to share about our mutual discouragements and things we're learning about. even my mom calls in to check and make sure i'm doing alright. i have friends who pray for me and encourage me all the time - verbally and through e-mail. and friends who will offer to help me grade papers - as well as feed me. i can't even imagine what life would be like without all the help, love, support, and prayer. i suppose i might have stepped over the line of sanity without you all.

i do really have a lot to celebrate - even if first year teaching is not one of those things...YET. :)