saturday morning was dim-sum and enjoyable time with friends. later that afternoon, i went to a memorial service for grace, an amazing woman whose life was marked by fruitfulness and God's presence, as evident by the 1000 or so people in attendance. the first thought (i'm sure it was the same thought of many others) was to wonder if my life would be remembered or marked in the same way. how tragic that i didn't think it would, at least not right now. the next thought was how inspired i felt to live that kind of life, marked by the presence of God and bearing such fruit. my thoughts then turned to the church, how it should be so undeniably filled with God's presence and fruitfulness. i went from sad, to inspired, and back to sad in realizing how far i, and the church, am from that vision.afterwards, i couldn't stop thinking about it all. i didn't know her well, but for the times i was around her, it was so easy to see that she indeed had this radiance, that came from God, just as the pastor described. because she reflected Jesus so beautifully, people were drawn to her, but you know, really to Jesus. that's the prayer i have for my life and church, to reflect Jesus so beautifully that people are drawn to Him.
so what does all that look like? i thought i knew, but on days like today, i'm not so sure. when the message at church makes me cry and God takes the opportunity to pinpoint my own selfishness as well as the ugly side of my own anger - regardless of my feeling like it's righteous. we are so very wretched, yet called beloved by God. how can we look at each other in any other way than how God sees all of us? the difficulty is to truly care and love others as God does - to deal with and treat people as he does, even when he is angry with us and upset at us because of disobedience.
there seems to be much to think about.
1 comment:
this is really good, steph!
Post a Comment