there are moments when there can be a sort of awkwardness that hangs in the air. i always want to blurt out, "wow...this is kind of awkward, huh?" but obviously, that would make it worse. so instead, i think it in my head and smile to myself - like my own private joke.

- - -

i had an activity-filled weekend. on saturday, i slept too much and had a headache. i tried to fix it by lying down some more and curling into a ball. needless to say, that didn't help. later, shiv and i went to dinner at hosoonyi's to celebrate a birthday. while we were there, i saw four friendly faces. i guess everybody loves korean food. later, we played games. well actually, we only played one game - trivial pursuit. it took forever and it was exhausting.

on sunday, i had church and then parker, melissa, and i went to world wrapps for lunch. we walked over to greenlake and sat down. we took a few bites and then promptly returned to the car because it was stinkin' cold [the wind made it chilly]. so instead, we ate in the car, and then drove around the lake, blasting the beach boys and singing along. it was fantastic. in the evening, i threw myself a potluck party - like a bon voyage/i'm leaving for spain party. it was great because friends who hadn't seen each other in quite a long time were able to catch up and some people even made new friends. gotta love it when different circles of friends collide.

i worked on monday, had the day off on tuesday and saw kill bill: volume 2 and started on my "to do" list for spain. then people came over and i made them watch the rundown. haha :) i'm all about movies with the rock. [i even saw his E! entertainment special on saturday when i was channel surfing.]

- - -

the other day, a friend asked me if i was excited to go to spain. i'm definitely excited, but i told him that i was starting to get nervous too. i'm good with travel within the US because it is familiar in the sense of language, culture, customs, etc. you know? i'm not the greatest with travel internationally because i'm always lost. not lost in the geographic sense, but lost in the i have no idea what i'm doing or what i'm supposed to be doing sense. i hate that feeling. this whole last year after graduation has been about that feeling. it seems fitting that the end of my travels coincides with the one year mark of graduation. well, close to it. i have a lot of expectations for my time in spain. my friend seemed to be confident that i'd be fine. i told him that i think of this experience as my own sissy version of survivor. he laughed. it sounds ridiculous, but it's kind of how i feel at the moment.

countdown to spain: technically it's thursday, so 6 days and counting.