Friday, July 09, 2004

it's all about perspective. i have continually asked God to change me. well, by continually, i mean regularly throughout the last several years, but i would not say that it has been a daily request. and change can often be slow-going, as it has been for me, though i suppose some unwillingness to change probably impeded the progress just a little. :) it is a wonderful thing to realize, as i look back on the last 10 years, that i have indeed changed. ok...not as much as i would've thought 10 years ago, and not in the really big things that are obvious, but in the small things on the inside, which make all the difference. of course, that being said, there is still much work to be done - a work in progress, just like everybody else in the world.

it has been so much fun rehashing youth group days with wendy. it has also been quite entertaining recalling all the adolescent drama and ridiculousness associated with all that drama. yet within all of that, there are so many memories, both good and bad, that i wouldn't trade for anything. ok...there may have been one or two that i could've done without, but i suppose they're necessary too, because they've shaped me into who i am now - which could be good or bad...depending on how you see it. :D

so, for the first time, i like being 23. i liked it before, but i think i actually really like and embrace it now. why? because it's pretty darn awesome to be able to start getting over some of my more juvenile tendencies, like, for example, passive-aggressiveness, which is not just limited to juveniles, but extends to asians in general [a total generalization]. and it's a good feeling, bettering my modes of communication. and, it's kind of just great to be able to recognize/be more self-aware [more than before] of my own capacity for immaturity, not to be confused with the kind of immaturity that finds humor in streets named "arbutus" ...hahaha...because i'm so not giving that up because it is just too much fun to be so easily entertained. so...having to grow up...maybe it's not so bad after all.

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