you know you're sick when...

• ...you start to hurt everywhere.
  
• ...your snot turns green.
• ...your snot randomly liquifies and drips out of your nose without warning.
• ...you have to roll up balls of tissue to stuff up your nose as a snot plug.
• ...your nose matches that of rudolph.
• ...you can't remember which meds you took when and when you can take your next dose.
• ...you feel both unbelievably cold and hot at the same time.
  
• ...you can't sleep through the night because you have a fever of 102 degrees.
• ...you drink airborne and theraflu like water to something dying of thirst.
  
• ...your voice turns gravelly and you sound like a dude.

put all of that together, i'm telling you, it's attractive.