hmm...i was browsing online and stumbled across a list of phobias, listed by alphabetical order. anyway, it has names for all these random fears, like fear of bald people, or the fear of wax figures - odd stuff like that, though on some of them, it seems like they just tacked on "phobia" to a random prefix to make up a phobia. but in all those phobias, i didn't see one for the fear of taking a risk[s]. i've been forming a conclusion that i suffer from the fear of taking a risk...but behind that is probably the fear of failure or something psychological like that. and behind that, the root of it, it probably stemming from not fully trusting in God.

where is all this coming from? i'm not quite sure. maybe it's because i turned 22 today and because i finished my first week of my senior year. i'm graduating college and i feel like though i've done a lot, i might have skipped out on some things because i wasn't willing to trust God and take a risk. hrm. ok...so...being a new year marking the day i was delivered from the womb :) i decided that i'm going to stop doing what i always do - not doing the freedom thing due to fear or some other lame-o reason - you know...all that stuff they teach you at church or fellowship or whatever about being free. i think that definitely, i've carried junk from previous experience or whatever that's kept me from living the wild and abandoned and full life that is in Christ - so...i guess...here i go...