i was at school for training all week. the last 3 days, i haven't left school earlier than 6pm. today was my first day of school with the students. there are 31 of them. seriously...it's so many people. trying to manage that many is so tiring. but, no one cried today. no one was out of control. no one exhibited any violent or seriously negative behavioral tendencies...yet. all in all, i survived. after school, i was talking with some of the other first year teachers and many of us had been thinking the same thing, that we might need to look into a new profession. we're only kidding...sort of, but seriously, we are so out of our element. nothing in student teaching really prepares you for having your own classroom. NOTHING. i'm glad it's the weekend. i hope it's long enough of a time for me to recover. but next week - i already have anxiety over all the different subjects i have to teach and prep.
but the scariest thing of all, i'm now the one responsible for teaching them to the best of my ability, which really isn't much right now. and if i don't do my job well, they could end up with crazy tendencies...you know...calling "goblets" gauntlets or saying "jarbled" instead of garbled and then blaming me, their 4th grade teacher (JC and DVJ - you have given me nightmares - kidding).
i think i realized today that what social life i did have, will no longer exist. so sad. i grieve for it.
1 comment:
aww, steph. i'm going into my 7th year of teaching, and i still don't know what i'm doing. :)sometimes, i'm amazed that i made it to the end of the day. think about it this way, you're not in it alone, and God is using you in the lives of these kids. you may not even see the fruits of your labor until you're in heaven. you may be exhausted now, but it does get easier. don't worry, at least you're not a doctor or a nurse, and any damage you can be fixed with therapy. :)
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