adventures in puppy-sitting

yesterday, i got together with ruth and her dog athena, a hungarian vizsla. russell and athena had a playdate at the dog park near ruth's house. russell is a small dog, as evidenced by the photo. that is only half of athena. they had a fun time at the dog park running around and playing around with the other dogs. russell was definitely one of the smallest dogs, but he played really well with all the big dogs, until this one short-legged dachshund-looking jerk dog kept biting at russell as russell tried to play with him. the other dog was pretty aggressive - though scrappy russell held his own. we promptly removed russell from the play area and took him for a walk. since we was insanely dirty, i dropped him off at petsmart for a bath. he came back all clean and no longer stinky. love it.


i've been taking him around my neighborhood for walks. it is amazing how total strangers will just come up and introduce themselves to you when you have a dog. seriously, i think i've met more people in the neighborhood in the last few days than i have in all the years i lived here. here he is sitting on a rock near my parents' garage. right behind is his potty lawn.


russell is a face-biter/face-licker. when you play with him, he likes to jump up at your face. my brother andy likes to play around with russell. earlier this evening, he was playing with russell and getting him all riled up, knowing that russell likes to go for the face. sure enough, he suddenly jumped up and bit andy on the nose, making a small puncture - circled to the left. i felt like it was an "i told you so" moment; andy was not so amused.



with all the activity, this is what russell looks like around 9pm. pretty darn cute. more pictures can be found here. the only thing that is not cute is when he farts in his sleep, which he does a lot. then he is back to stinky russell.

puppy-sitting

i'm watching wendy and josh's boston terrier puppy, russell, for a few days while they're at a crusade conference (the hotel doesn't allow dogs). taking care of a puppy is almost like taking care of a baby, except russell doesn't nap, and there's no swing to put him in to occupy him for awhile, nor can i stick him in a baby pen. and, i'm still debating whether i prefer picking up puppy poo or changing diapers.

i'm totally exhausted, but we had a good day. i'm coming up with ways to exhaust russell, like taking him to this big, fenced-off dog park wendy mentioned.

merry christmas!

as i'm on vacation, i've finally been able to update/upload my photos. lots of stuff has been going on since august and here are a few of them:



i finally got to see the hollywood bowl - it was awesome! and the sound of music was pretty good too with smallville's jonathan kent playing captain von trapp and arrested development's jeffrey tambor as max.




judy and timmy got married! plus, judy and i both started teaching in our own classrooms.





there were a lot of birthdays to celebrate in september and october: emily, timmy, me, naomi, and judy. here's me and my roommates + gilbert and tim outside of bcd tofu house after my birthday dinner. i'm holding fuji apples from joe - as he said it, "to make up for the ones you didn't get from your kids."




bridesmaid for shiv and gar - easiest gig as a bridesmaid to date. it was great catching up with friends that i hadn't seen in quite some time. being back up here and seeing friends and hanging out makes me miss it all so much more than i already do.

more photos here.

sheep for ore?

after months (potentially years) of resistance, i finally gave in and joined the craze of playing settlers of catan. i will admit, i've mocked it to no end. i remember watching christine, kelvin, noah, and co. play a few years back and thinking it was a weird game. the exo-crew has been really into the game recently. i found out that most of my friends/family in both seattle and portland have been playing it for awhile now too. i suppose it was inevitable. i have to confess, it was pretty fun. i suppose we all mock what we do not initially understand.

i also learned that this game is from germany and won a few awards for "best game." incidentally, another game i recently played, ticket to ride is also from germany and i think it won the same "best game" award. those crazy germans and their oddly enjoyable games.

crazy - in one week

last thursday, i was getting ready to leave the apt for LAX to catch my flight home. susan suggested i check my flight online to make sure it was on time. i looked up the flight info and nothing came up. not good. after some more frantic searching with zero results, we started to suspect that it was cancelled. stinkin' united. and as i start calling customer service, they call me and leave me a message that my flight is cancelled - less than 2 hours before. i was super mad. more so when the lady on the phone told me that the next flight to portland was the next night. she offered to get me to medford. i had to explain to her that medford is not at all close to portland - that it is about 5 hours away by car. i explained that flying to seattle would make more sense than flying to medford. she replies by putting me on hold and finding a flight to seattle early the next morning. i explained to her that getting to seattle wasn't the point - i needed to fly to portland.

as i checked other airlines, i found out that alaska was still planning on flying out, so i made united refund my ticket and i bought a last minute ticket through alaska. by then, it was just a little past 8 and the flight was at 9pm. tim and jessica helped me get my bags stashed in susan's car while i tried to print out my boarding pass. susan got me through 405 traffic to LAX 20 minutes before take-off. i ran in and luckily found out that the flight had been delayed by 20 minutes. i had enough time to cross through security and my bag would definitely make the flight. did i mention that my checked bag exceeded the 50lb limit? boo. i had to pay $25 extra for the 8.8lb overage. i blame my mom and dad's request for 2 all-region dvd players from focus plaza in alhambra. anyway, the flight was really turbulent, or so i gathered by the clapping and cheering from passangers upon landing in portland. i slept through everything. what can i say? i was exhausted from a full day of teaching plus the hassle of a cancelled flight. i guess portland had 40mph winds. my dad picked me up past midnight and i had to go with him to the restaurant before i could go home. most of the area around the restaurant had lost power. my dad had promised that it wouldn't take too long, but it did. i was so hungry that i started to eat the fortune cookies. so sad. i finally got home around 2am and had real food. this is the craziest travel ordeal i've ever had. i hope i have no more like it.

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i drove up to seattle on friday afternoon and on the way up, it was snowing - somewhat blizzard-like, from jantzen beach to a little past vancouver. seriously...snow had gathered on my hood. it was really weird. and, in seattle, they had 80+mph winds, and most of the areas had lost power. actually...half of mercer island is still without power as of today. it was insanely cold for many people. i got to have dinner near the u-district and we stopped by capitol hill for dilletante's desserts before crashing at pam's house - where power, and more importantly, heat - returned just after 10pm friday night. sadly for chris and david, their power returned...and then went back out. but it did come back for real the next night.

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saturday morning was getting together with the bridal party and having manicures and pedicures. and then it was getting ready to attend dennis's memorial service. saturday was a day of such contrasting events and emotions.

the memorial service was wonderful. from the shared reflections from friends and family, it was so obvious that dennis was loved in abundance and that he had had such influence and impact in so many people's lives. he has given so much joy and fun to so many of us. he's greatly missed.

the evening was occupied by the wedding rehearsal and dinner. a pretty straight-forward and quick rehearsal. after dinner, most of the bridal party headed to the hotel where the reception was being held. shiv + gar and company (out of town fam/friends) had rooms there. we played ticket to ride, a fun game of strategy and building your own cross-country railway. somehow, i think the exodus would enjoy it - even if there isn't an aspect of trading ore for sheep. :) i got to crash with shiv in her really nice suite.

the next morning was all about getting ready for the wedding. we commandeered the bathroom to do hair and make-up. mama and papa wong brought us sustenance in the form of deli meat, cheese, bread, cherry tomatoes, clementines, and grapes. we were not starved. our first stop was pictures at seattle u. it was freezing. the fountain on campus had a layer of frozen ice. we were told to think thoughts of hawaii and look warm. :| it was FREEZING. after awhile, we lost all sense of feeling, so it was ok.

the wedding was beautiful. i teared up when shiv and garrett exchanged their own personal vows and when they hugged the parents. actually, even in the beginning when shiv's dad "gives her away." the reception was super fab too. they had a photo booth - a la amelie - and great food. it was so nice to see a bunch of friends all in one place. my favorite quote of the day came from one of the photographers in reference to shiv and gar - "they're weird...but they work." hahaha...probably because garrett makes crazy faces and expressions all the time and shiv's got a couple of her own as well.

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the last couple of days were just spent catching up with people. having dinner with melissa and crashing the boxwave christmas party at the westin, having my eyes checked, being offered my old job back during my school breaks, dinner with pam, che, jason, and kristie, hanging out at chris and david's very cool townhouse. very fun.

during this time, i am called several times on tuesday. i call back to find out that my mom had to go to the ER monday night/early tuesday morning for abdominal pain. turns out that it was just acid reflux/heartburn/indigestion. so...really, not a big deal at all. but, being the crazy people that they are, they call me to find out when i'm coming home and to have me drive back sooner because my mom needs someone to "take care of her." i'm still not quite sure how it makes sense in their crazy minds, but apparently it makes more sense for me to drive 3 hours to get my mom a glass of water than to ask my brother, who is upstairs...less than 30 feet away. and, she got mad at me when i asked her to clarify and explain what had happened. yea...i don't get it either.

i've decided that the only way i can feasibly move back to the northwest is when my mom drops the crazy. this probably means that i'll never be able to move back. bummer. i love my parents...really, but they are C-R-A-Z-Y. i'm hoping it is not passed on.

just one more day...

by this time tomorrow, i will be back home in portland. tomorrow is my last teaching day of the first semester. looking back, 4 months of teaching - half an academic year - have gone by so quickly, though living through it day to day seemed like it took years...

earlier, during my UCLA class, alexandra and i were talking to steph k. about how she could meet the korean guy friends of one of our co-workers. steph, who is cantonese, had this to say, "no, our flags have to match."


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here's dennis in top form - best man at a wedding in july with one of the cutie bridesmaids.


in the last couple of days, different dennis stories have been popping up in conversation and the one that sticks with me and captures one aspect of dennis's personality is this:

a couple of years ago, i got off of work and drove over to chris and dave's to hang out, eat, etc. when i buzzed the apt and walked up to the door, it was slightly ajar (i think). i pushed the door open to find a dimly lit room with candles and cheesy "slow-jam lam" music. chris and david were nowhere in sight. instead, there stood dennis. i walked in and yelled for chris and david to come out of whatever place they were hiding. all three of them started cracking up. i have to admit, it was a funny and unforeseen greeting. slightly mischevious and good-natured - just portions of the amazing whole person. he was also the best "what if..." game player - who weighed every decision quite seriously.

it is a such a huge testament to who dennis was when there are so many great stories and memories that friends have to share. he really did add so much to each of our lives - his friendship made it more interesting.

in loving memory

after school, i received messages that dennis wasn't doing very well. a few hours later, i got word that he'd passed away.

after a 1+ year battle with cancer, dennis entered God's rest. he's been fully restored and we can take heart in knowing that he has received the fulfillment of the hope we have in God. please be keeping his family and friends in prayer during this time.

countdown

9 more teaching days to go...

some things never change...

my brother tells me that it's snowing up in portland. friends in seattle say it's snowing up there too. darn it...i want it to snow here! then, i won't have to go to school/work tomorrow. too bad snow days are unlikely here. boo.

thanksgiving!

thanksgiving morning started off with a flag football. 'twas quite fun. afterwards, the orphans went and started prepping for dinner. we ate so much food. we had turkey, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, garlic mashed potatoes, cous cous, corn bread stuffing, sauteed string beans with asparagus, salad, somen salad, and poached pears. oh, and of course, sangria. i think we were all in pain after dinner. seriously. and then it was time for apples to apples! fun game! there are pictures, but they won't be posted until i go on vacation...3 more weeks of teaching and then it's sweet, glorious vacation!

friday morning, i woke up and got ready to drive up to san jose to meet up with shiv for her bridal shower weekend. i got to downtown sf around 5:30 and went shopping while i waited to meet up with them for the macy's tree lighting at union square. it was insane with people walking around. but i managed to find them and we saw the tree, ate, and then went home. at shiv's parents' house, we stayed up watching grey's anatomy and she and jamie got me hooked on survivor. i've since developed a mini-crush on yul.

saturday was breakfast with the wong family and then a tiny bit of wedding sweatshop work - i made 3 (or was it 4?) oragami flowers for the centerpieces at the reception. we had the bridal shower at a teahouse in menlo park and it was so much fun! there were games, food, presents, and a whole lot of fun. and then it was the long drive back home. i made it back in 5.5 hours with 2 gas stops and a food stop. i was so exhausted. so this morning, i stayed in bed watching survivor until 1pm. :) and i don't want to go to school tomorrow.

ok, only 15 more days and then i'm on vacation. let the countdown begin.

mysterious messages

over the last few weeks, i've been getting these random text messages on my phone, usually around 8am. they are encouraging messages, like "glorious morning!" and "amazingly beautiful day! great and awesome is our God!!!" i got another this morning, so on my way home, i texted the phone number to ask for the person's identity. all they replied with was, "someone who loves the Lord." while it's lovely to be encouraged, it's also a little odd that it's anonymous.

fourth grade funnies

today seemed to drag. so, to help me remember why teaching can be entertaining, i've compiled a short list of amusing things that have happened this year:

two months ago... during afternoon independent work time, one of the kids (ChMe) comes running up with a note in his hand. the note read: "i got to throw up." his other hand was covering his mouth. i told him to run to the garbage can. he wrote me a note to tell me he had to throw up and to ask for permission! this is a first.

last month... the kids took a district science test. the last part is a constructed response (short answer) question. as the kids were finishing up the question on a plant/animal food web about producers and consumers, i wrote some language arts vocabulary on the whiteboard. after school, i was grading their responses and i came across JeS's. the question was "what does the arrow from the mice and the songbird to the plant tell you about mice and songbirds?" something along the lines of "both songbirds and mice eat plants/consume plants" would've been correct. she had written, "the producers and consumers ambition." seriously...no logical connection! i started laughing so hard there were tears. she is the only student in the class who randomly interjected a vocab word into her science answer. this might only be funny to me...and other teachers, but i made a photo copy of it to keep.

last week... like i mentioned before, i had the kids make their own greeting cards and think up messages for the inside of the card. i read CaG's message to his parents. this is what it said, "i'm sorry mom and dad for getting in trouble. i really like you guys. when i see david hasselhoff, it makes me want to puke." hahaha... i couldn't hold back the laughter. i asked him where he heard about david hasselhoff and he said tv. i don't think he knew why i thought it was funny.

a few weeks ago... my disheveled girl, MoF, was caught drawing on her composition book. after i confiscated it, i had to try hard not to laugh. she had been drawing a giant-headed princess and a giant-headed prince kissing, along with two ponies, presumably a boy and girl pony with hearts all around. the drawings were pretty funny. i made a copy of this too. this same girl, i caught her staring off into space and drawing on her cheek with a pencil...twice! when i told her she had pencil marks on her face, she said, "how did it get there?"

on friday afternoon, i spotted one of the kids in the after school program and he ran up to me to ask me if i had a paper clip. i said no and asked him what he wanted it for. he said that he and his brother like to stick it in electrical sockets and get a slight electrocution. i looked at him and said, "huh...that actually explains a lot." and he looked back at me, blankly.

today, i sent home a notice about different magnet school programs that they can apply to for next year if their families are interested. one boy, JaS, asked, "do we have to wear magnets?" ahahaha... the girl next to him, in an exasperated manner, was like, "oh my god..."

emergency drills

this morning, we had a "shelter in place" drill, which basically means that the alarm sounds and we are to stay in the classroom, lock the doors, and turn off the a/c - in the event that there are hazardous airborne pathogens. so during the drill time, i had to explain to the students what it was for and why we have practice drills. the students had a lot of questions and a whole lot of stories to share about different experiences with emergency situations. it was really sobering to hear that many of them have experienced a lock-down either in school or at their apartment building because of neighborhood shootings. even scarier, a handful of the kids have seen a dead body in the street after gunfire. and it's weird to me that they are really nonchalant in talking about it. it's another reminder for me that i have such little understanding of the daily life that they engage in. their reality is a foreign concept to me.

this week, the students are reading a story about a blind kid who starts a greeting card business for step-families. as an activity, i had the students make their own greeting cards in class and i was kind of surprised to learn that many of them have step-families too. it was another reminder about how little i know about my students' families, though parent conferences have given me some more insight into their backgrounds. some of the parents today had very complementary things to say, such as how their kid talks about the class and me and think i'm really nice. eh...i don't care so much about being nice. i would much rather be effective and hear that the students seem to be learning.

i have all of these ideas of things to do in class, and then i never get to actually planning them out or prepping it. so sad. but, i am starting to like my students more and am no longer as overwhelmed by the fact that there are so many of them. i have to say that that is a 1st-year teacher victory.

as a side note: will most of my posts now pertain to teaching? yes...because i have no outside life. boo.

conference time

this is parent conference week. i have 32 students and therefore, 32 parent conferences. as of today, after 10 back to back conferences, i'm done with half of them. they've gone pretty well so far, but then the conferences have been with the parents of the students who are doing pretty well. tomorrow begins the set with many of my struggling students who are really below 4th grade expectations. did i mention that out of 32 conferences, 26 of them are in spanish? it's actually kind of terrifying, but i'm making it through and the parents have been so gracious with my language mistakes.

and it's almost thanksgiving! which means that next week is a 3-day week of school. and after that, it's only 3 more full weeks until i'm off-track and on vacation! if i can just make it through mid-december, i will be ok.

did you go out and vote?

i left school early for the first time in a few weeks. by early, i mean 5pm. how sad. i hope you all went out and exercised your right to vote!

in other news, i, along with every other teacher at my school, am incredibly excited that friday is veterans day. this means that we have a 4-day work week and an extra day of weekend. the last two weeks have passed super slowly leading up to this shortened week. hooray! i love having a day away from the kids. they get a break from me and me, from them - we all win.

and, i just bought my tickets home for christmas! yay!!! i haven't been back home in almost half a year. that is forever. it very well may be the longest i've been away without a visit. i can't wait to veg with the fam and play! and even better, if it would snow...just for a day, after a day, it's just a traffic nightmare.

the Word alive

sometimes, it really feels like life is kicking you when you're down. i think that the last week and half have been rough, with a various assortment of things that have to be done. the pressure that had sort of backed off has returned full force and anxiety seems to be making itself comfortable. but, just when you think there isn't any silver lining on the dark cloud, God used awesome friends to pray for and encourage me. truly, hebrews 12 is coming alive - my great cloud of witnesses reminds me to throw off all that hinders and to run the race marked out for me.

reflection

it's been said that students tend to be a reflection of the classroom teacher. if the teacher is super high-strung, then students might reflect the same tendencies. if the teacher is really relaxed and mellow, then students might tend to be mellow. hmm...looking at my own classroom, it makes me wonder what vibe the kids are getting from me and whether or not their attitudes, etc area reflection of mine.

randomly, one of the girls in my class wrote me a super sweet letter. somewhere in it, she said that i was like a second mom to her.

later in the day, one boy called another boy a "momma's boy" which made that boy cry. a third boy, walked over and joked with him until he wasn't upset anymore. the name-caller felt really bad - he was contrite. teaching kids to be kind and building their character is hard work. equally difficult, teaching them academic content.

the other day, school pictures were delivered to the office. jenny and i were down there and decided to dig through to find our class pictures. seriously, the kids in my class are pretty cute and adorable on photo paper - but all 32 of them together, physically present in front of me - and all cuteness goes out the window. hahaha...poor kids.

teaching in the undertow

my classes with UCLA start last week. one of the articles we were assigned to read for tomorrow afternoon/evening's class is titled "teaching in the undertow." the undertow consists of the traditional way of schooling - where teachers direct students all day long and students sit there as passive absorbers of information (everything social justice education stands against). the heart of the article hit on all of the struggles that teacher who believe in critical pedagogy face each day in the classroom and how easy it is to get carried away by the current. the interesting advice was this, if we keep swimming against the current, we'll tire and burn out. but, rather, we should swim with it a little (so pick and choose which battles to fight for) and then when it's time, swim free towards your goal, be it the shore or whatever. i'm digging the ocean metaphor - if for no other reason that at times, teaching feels like drowning - especially if you're sick - which today, i am.

in another reading, i found the following quote, which i really liked:

teaching involves a search for meaning in teh world. teaching is a life project, a calling, a vocation that is an organizing center of all other activities. teaching is past and future as well as present, it is background as well as foreground, it is depth as well as surface. teaching is pain and humor, joy and anger, dreariness and epiphany. teaching is world building, it is architecture and design, it is purpose and moral enterprise. teaching is a way of being in the world that breaks through the boundaries of the traditional job and in the process redefines all life and teaching itself.

- william ayers (professor of education at the university of illinois - chicago)

birthday blessings

so my birthday friday started out with a poster, a paper tiara, and a song. a friend that teaches 5th grade across the hall from me sent 4 of her students in and they sang "happy birthday" to me. it was supremely cute and sweet. my students, of course, went all sorts of crazy. they wanted to know how old i was, what my favorite color was, if i had a boyfriend. oh my goodness...it was like a free for all on asking questions. after i got them focused back on getting started with a regular day, i knew the rest of the day was going to be crazy. all day long, students were leaving me notes and cards they'd made. haha...they thought they were being all stealthy, like trying to ask "normal" every time i walked by. so funny. one kid even tried to give me $0.50 as a birthday gift. so cute!

after school, a bunch of friends from school (teachers) went out to el cholo for happy hour, only to discover that they no longer had happy hour. bummer. we hung out and snacked. it was really fun! after that, it was off to a birthday dinner at BCD with 20-some people. crazy. it was so awesome that people came out to k-town to celebrate, even if we had to be clustered at different tables. haha..we took up a whole side of the back room and at one point, were "shushed" by one of the servers. but then, to be fair, some people had been chanting "bite the fish" as if they had some latent frat gene. :)

the after party was at MJ's place with cake, snacks, and presents - including a very elaborate game show like process - which was hopefully entertaining to everybody else because i thought it was pretty darn funny.

thanks to everybody who came out!!! i seriously felt (and still feel) so lucky! i was thinking about that earlier today too, as i was on campus after my class.

so blessed by everyone who:

called

e-mailed

sent a card

came to dinner

got me cake and gifts

prayed (and continues to pray) for me

birthday wished by blog

cooked for me

let me share about the craziness of working/teaching

helped me grade papers ever since i started teaching

has gotten me to play against my better judgment and thereby helped keep my sanity and some semblance of a social/real life

encouraged (and still encourages) me

there are more things than i can even count or remember that i have to be grateful for. i have truly been blessed over the last 26 years. plus, my mom even called on my actual birthday! normally, she forgets and i call her first...hahaha.

i feel like i forgot to be appreciative of something... darn...i hope it's just a nagging feeling and not really because i did forget something...

i am thankful for my communities - near and far.

i heart family and friends

i feel so blessed to have such an amazing group of family and friends in my life. i hadn't talked to wendy in forever - so it was awesome to catch up a couple of days ago. and just to share about our mutual discouragements and things we're learning about. even my mom calls in to check and make sure i'm doing alright. i have friends who pray for me and encourage me all the time - verbally and through e-mail. and friends who will offer to help me grade papers - as well as feed me. i can't even imagine what life would be like without all the help, love, support, and prayer. i suppose i might have stepped over the line of sanity without you all.

i do really have a lot to celebrate - even if first year teaching is not one of those things...YET. :)

this is me?

you know, this was sort of the theme for the exodus church retreat this past weekend. we intensively explored and mapped out our spiritual gifts, natural abilities and acquired skills. i haven't exactly had time to process it, so it's still kind of churning in the back of my mind...somewhere.

but, i think it made me think about who i am. i thought i knew...6 weeks ago. but after 5.5 weeks of teaching, i find that i'm not sure who i am. because in 5.5 short weeks, i seem to have lost a lot of my personality. maybe it's the nature of being thrown into a new and really challenging situation. i'm weaker than i thought i was. what a bummer. i'm hoping i find my personality and more optimistic disposition soon.

tomorrow, i have a sub. i have to attend a district math training. i hope the kids don't go nuts. in fact, i kind of hope the sub isn't good - i have heard of subs who do magic tricks. it's hard competing with cool magic tricks - and so maybe the kids will appreciate me more when i go back on friday.

year one: complete

this last wednesday was the 1-year mark for my time in LA. it was just over a year ago that my dad and i drove down here with a u-haul trailer attached to the back of my car. it's crazy to think how fast the time went. i think back to this time last year and then look at where i am now, and so much has changed. more detailed thoughts will follow...later.

yesterday also happened to be the 1-year mark of when i met many of the folks of the exodus, who have, over the last year, become dear friends. the day is easy to remember because i happened to meet everyone (most everyone) at TC's birthday party last year.

i have to find some time to really think over this last year.

and so begins year two...

remembering where you were

i think it was just past 7am, five years ago, that i was driving from portland to seattle. i was moving some of my things to my new living space, an apartment near campus - the infamous maplewood apts. on my way up, i decided to turn from my cd player to the radio. it was a very surreal moment to hear all of the news being relayed about everything that was going on in new york and in DC. i remember getting on my cell phone and calling my parents about 30 minutes after i'd left their house to tell them to turn on the TV. it was in so many ways very difficult to process the events as a reality. it just seemed like it couldn't be happening, yet it was. i somehow arrived in seattle around 10am and checked in with my new landlords. none of us could really process any of it. my then roommates were both out, either at work or school. i remember just sitting on the floor of my apt bedroom surrounded by a some of my things, and being dazed and unsure of what to do with myself. i can't say how long i was sitting there. i don't really remember. i do remember somewhere in there, during my drive and after i arrived - i prayed...because that was all i could do.

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on this day, i find that i'm not quite sure how to process the things that are happening in my life. i started teaching and it hasn't been anything i had initially expected. there have been ups...but i've seen more of the downs in these last 3 weeks. i almost feel like everyday that i'm in the classroom, i'm in a constant battle. i fight for the attention of my students, i struggle internally for more patience. sometimes, the war that seems to rage within me seems to be the thing that is causing me the most grief. i have these crazy perfectionist expectations of myself as a teacher, which i potentially (and quite possibly, unfairly) expect of my students. i can't figure out how it's all supposed to be/look. and that is, to be honest, exhausting me. i know that later, with more time, learning, training, experience - i will know, to a better degree, what to expect and do. but for right now (and for sure later), i feel like the only thing i can do is pray - because i really don't know what else to do.

another week comes to an end

i love the fact that this was a 4-day work week. it's friday and i've made it to the third week. it's hard to believe that it's already been about 3 weeks since school started. so far, i've dealt with finding cockroaches in the classroom and killing them while making sure the kids don't react and freak out, 4th grade social drama - a group of girls harrassing this poor kid about "who he loves," kids "playing" rough at recesses, calling some parents, and doling out the negative consequences of poor student choices. it's just a little crazy. i'm pretty sure i look forward to the end of the day more than they do.

the tough part is remembering that they're 9 years old. it's so funny how different they are. some are super responsible and mature and joyfully participate and align themselves with school expectations while others look like they don't have a clue. oh the variety... it certainly keeps me on my toes.

homophones

me: i still can't believe you guys have a dog!
wendy: he's super cute. come meat him~
wendy: haha.. meet him
me: hahaha...meat. dude...that's so wrong!
wendy: apparently i is fob
me: yes...you is
wendy: thank you miss sun.
me: dude...have i mentioned that i hate the sound of my own last name?

bountiful blessings

so over the last two weeks, i've been moving towards a greater degree of flipping out. nothing i had imagined had prepared me for these first two weeks of teaching in my own classroom. i had refused to cry, but on monday, i finally had my own little meltdown. and truth be told, i felt better after i just let it all out. i don't know that i've ever felt this humbled on a daily basis. it sucks feeling like you have no idea what you're doing day-to-day while 31 kids are looking to you for direction and driving you a little crazy in the process.

inspite of all the classroom craziness, i have seriously been blessed by the encouragement, care, thoughtfulness, and love of friends who have seriously come to my aid whether they are aware of it or not. through their words, gestures, assistance, and concern i have felt the blessing, presence, and strength of God. thank you all for helping me in the classroom with setting up, for correcting homework and papers, for helping me plan, for giving me ideas, for sharing your teaching experiences (or that of other teachers you know), for making me dinner, giving me a hug on an especially bad day, for calling to check on how i'm doing, and telling me that i'm not incompetent even though i feel like i am. y'all are keeping me sane!

head above water

day 5 of teaching. i haven't cried yet...but i want to. today was not the best day. one boy called some girls a "bad word" - you can guess which it was. another boy was closed-fist pounding on a boy who said something to him that he didn't like. after school, he had to tell his mom and dad what he did and why it was that they were called in. he started crying, which made me want to cry - my eyes did get red. my literacy coach, who facilitated the conversation told me afterwards that i need to hold my response in better. i agree...but it was just so sad watching this little boy cry and confess.

oh goodness...it's only the fifth day of school!!! it's days like today that really make me question my ability to teach. one of the worst things is when i see their little faces and how bored they are. so sad. i'm barely keeping it together. i just want to make it to friday. every week just cannot be like this one. i think i might lose it.

one day at a time

today wasn't as bad as friday. i didn't want to quit at the end of the day today, which i will take as a good sign. this morning, on my way to school, i was praying in the car "Lord, i don't know if i'm cut out for this teaching thing. please help me to work through my confusion and..." when suddenly the car to my right tries to change lanes into the space that i was occupying! i swerve left to avoid being completely hit - thank goodness the lane to the left was empty. then my car swerves severely back to the right - felt like fish-tailing. and all the driver of the car can do is wave an arm out the window. seriously. after my heart started beating again, i was like "Lord, is this a sign? are you trying to tell me something?" i'm still pondering that one. all insights into this one are welcome.

exhausted

i was at school for training all week. the last 3 days, i haven't left school earlier than 6pm. today was my first day of school with the students. there are 31 of them. seriously...it's so many people. trying to manage that many is so tiring. but, no one cried today. no one was out of control. no one exhibited any violent or seriously negative behavioral tendencies...yet. all in all, i survived. after school, i was talking with some of the other first year teachers and many of us had been thinking the same thing, that we might need to look into a new profession. we're only kidding...sort of, but seriously, we are so out of our element. nothing in student teaching really prepares you for having your own classroom. NOTHING. i'm glad it's the weekend. i hope it's long enough of a time for me to recover. but next week - i already have anxiety over all the different subjects i have to teach and prep.

but the scariest thing of all, i'm now the one responsible for teaching them to the best of my ability, which really isn't much right now. and if i don't do my job well, they could end up with crazy tendencies...you know...calling "goblets" gauntlets or saying "jarbled" instead of garbled and then blaming me, their 4th grade teacher (JC and DVJ - you have given me nightmares - kidding).

i think i realized today that what social life i did have, will no longer exist. so sad. i grieve for it.

infestation repeat?

i came home only to discover that ants have once again invaded my bathroom. i just spent 30 minutes spraying every single ant in sight with ammonium windex. i hate ants. i really, really, really hate them. i'm hoping that when i wake up they will be gone because they will surely drive me crazy.

musical madness

over the weekend, i got the chance to see a couple of shows. on friday night, my friend alexandra and i went to see adam pascal (originated the role of roger from RENT in both the movie and on broadway) perform in brentwood. he sang both his own original songs and songs from various stage shows, including "one song glory" from RENT and "what i did for love" from a chorus line. i really liked his rendition of "what i did for love."

he was pretty funny and had really good stage presence. alexandra and i have decided that it really does matter. apparently just being able to sing isn't enough these days. after the show, we heard whispering that he was planning on coming out and signing autographs. neither of us wanted his autograph, but we did want to get a better picture of him. so while we hung around outside waiting, we noticed that the crowd waiting around with us was comprised of a particular demographic - while the audience during the performance was pretty mixed in terms of gender, age, and ethnicity - the waiting for the meet/greet was mostly a drama club crowd. we heard some pretty funny and catty commentary from the girls on the fringes towards the girls who were closer to the fence/gate separating them from adam.

during the concert, adam pascal played guitar with this dude in the picture. piano guy larry is currently helping adam write his next album. we saw him just standing around in the hall by himself while all the small, but rabid, crowd was surrounding adam. so, we went to take a photo with him.


on saturday, i went to the hollywood bowl to see a stage production of the sound of music. i had originally thought it was a sing-a-long, but it turned out to be a musical instead.
we were sitting in the super-far nosebleed benches, but it was a lot of fun. we got to bring our own food/desserts and wine, which we drank out of blue plastic cups - so classy. it was so cool to see the surround hills and hear the coyotes while we were sitting there. i can't wait to see something else at the bowl. for the stage show, some actors played the popular roles. clark's dad from smallville played captain von trapp (also of dukes of hazzard fame), teri hatcher's "daughter" from desparate housewives played liesl, and jeffrey tambor (arrested development) played uncle max. and while i couldn't see their faces at all, even on the big jumbo screens, i'm still counting them in my short-list of celeb "sightings."

out of control and trying to get ready

so on monday, i was able to get a look at my classroom for the first time. it's pretty. check out all the natural lighting from the wall of windows. and my teacher's desk in the corner, with my own desktop to use. and i even get my own comfy teacher rolly chair. so cool. i almost feel like a legitimate educator.

this is a picture of playground/yard - the view i have from my classroom. we have grass. that's like...unheard of. you can see the distinctive k-town businesses and if you look closely enough, some mountains/hills of some kind. then it's the library. our library looks amazing! the circulation desk, and check out all those books! on monday, the shelves were empty, but i went back this afternoon and books had magically appeared. they are beautiful. i heart libraries and books.

and this is the neatest part of the library - a high ceiling area with carpeted tiered steps for kids to have story hour or just read or whatever. so awesome.
and just check out the awesome lighting from the ginormous windows.

i've been there everyday this week, for a few hours here...a few hours there. honestly, i don't have anything to even set up yet, because we haven't really had our orientation about the dos and don'ts of what we can decorate and how. instead, i've just been exploring the school and visiting my classroom, just swiveling in my teacher chair, trying to figure out how i'd like to arrange the classroom. i've also met our literacy coach and math coach. i think they will be my new friends. i have this feeling i'll be visiting their office a lot to get assistance with implementing curriculum. lucky for them their office is on my floor.

--------------------------------------

in a somewhat related small world connection, i ran into a teacher that had been part of the interview panel at the school that i had thought i originally wanted to work at - the one that had asked what i thought were some weird questions. he was sitting at my table for math training today. as i met some other teachers from his school, they seemed to know of me. it was weird...then it was explained that i had been their first choice of new hires. huh. had i known that leaving the interview, i think my decision might've been different. it's funny how things worked out. i'm really excited to be starting out at the school i ended up choosing. the staff that i've already met seem great. i'm one of two 4th grade teachers. the other teacher is from the same program i'm in and she's in her 4th year of teaching, so she brings some experience and she's been so accessible. yay...i heart teachers.

just a little over two weeks and counting until i start going into school for full prep days. and just a little under 3 weeks until my first day with the students.

vegas

i went to vegas over the weekend. it was actually a really short trip and i didn't end up taking very many pictures, which i'm now a little bummed about.
it was lounging poolside, sampling buffets, watching cirque du soleil's "O" and just hanging out. the drive was super long on the way there...6 hours due to traffic. on the way back, it was a much more acceptable 4.5. i think i've learned that i'm only good on drives 3 hours and less (my seattle to portland run). anything past that...too much time of the road.

more photos here.

food fest

food fest began the morning that kristie arrived. we brunched near fairfax, at doughboy's. it was delicious. i realized that i have not done my fair share of exploration of the various pockets in this city. i think it's mostly due to not wanting to be out driving with all the other cars that are out...that, and parking. that evening, we went out for all-you-can-eat korean bbq. i'm still recovering.


the next day, we played volleyball at the beach and had a hawaiian style dinner at the loft.
afterwards, we went to the hermosa beach pier and rather than walk-off our food binge, we sat around at coffee bean and tea leaf and made friends with the coolest barista ever. the next day, it was dumplings for lunch and a lighter dinner since none of us could handle anymore heavy foods. we did stop by diddy riese's in westwood for ice cream and cookies.

i think food fest undid all of the exercise i'd done the weeks before. sad. but oh so delicious was all the food.

eye disease magnet

i woke up this morning and i started thinking that maybe it was going to be a rough day, especially when it took me an hour to get to downtown, which is only 10 miles away. surely enough, later in the day, my left eye started feeling funny. then much later, i looked at it and it was a little swollen. my awesome roommates diagnosed my eye. i have preseptal cellulitis. it's like infected due to some sinus-related issue. now my eye looks like i got stung by a mosquito. sigh. God has a sense of humor...
:)

southern california fun

over the weekend, i saw pirates of the caribbean 2, went to a bridal shower for JT (which was a lot of fun - she's got some organized bridesmaids), and went boogie boarding for the first time. it was also a super exhausting weekend. it takes a lot of energy to have fun.

i liked pirates 2. what's not to like? johnny depp, orlando bloom, crazy unbelievable pirate antics - all good things. it's going to be tough waiting for movie #3. the bridal shower was hilarious. :) and boogie boarding ended up being great. at first, it was just ok since i was not good with the timing of catching waves. but the last wave that took me almost to the shore made it all worthwhile. except for the stupid rug-burn type rash i got from the board, it was super fun. i realized that it's been a really, really long time since i've been in the ocean. oregon beaches do not always lends themselves to water activities - it's usually pretty darn cold, even in the summer. and seattle doesn't really have beaches, just lots of lakes and ocean water, but no sandy beaches. unfortunately, i failed to sunscreen properly again - i didn't reapply the sunblock. sadly, i didn't learn from last time. and i sort of burned again, but not as badly. one of these days, i'll catch on...really, i will.

and i'm an official employee of the district now, with an employee number and everything! today, i finalized all my paperwork with the district and even stopped by my new school to pick up some teacher's editions of textbooks since i have training conferences next week. the plant manager of the school even gave me a mini-tour of some parts of the school. it's BEAUTIFUL! the colors are so kid-friendly - light grays, soft lime greens with light purples/lavender. the classrooms look great and i can't wait to get started with decorating and planning out my room's space. afterwards, i drove to blocks to grace's school to hang out in her classroom. it was so nice to just talk and hang out - even if i completely distracted her from lesson-planning. :) it's great because she totally knows who i am and so we can always just dive right into conversation. yay friends!


and more "yays" to more friends - congrats to gar and shiv. i'm so completely happy and excited for you two!!! (shiv - i'm posting this because garrett already posted about it and plus, it is just HAPPY HAPPY news.) :D

too much time and craziness ensues...

as requested, i have posted up these "secret" photos. over the weekend, we helped pam move into her new townhouse. sometime during that event, josh* and joe* decided to try a series of poses to "christen" her new townhome. in this first one, all i heard was pam yelling. as i ran upstairs, this is what i found. josh had rolled up his shorts and used her "SOLD" sign (which had "AVAILABLE" on the other side) to "surprise" pam as she entered her new master bathroom. wife wendy is holding the leash.




joe joins josh. here they are on pam's bed. it just doesn't look quite right. and there they are again in the guest bathroom. i guess girls aren't the only ones who go to the restroom in groups.


this last one is in the powder room on the mainfloor. josh is doing his best impression of vanna as he shows off her very cool and very modern counter top sink.

*names have NOT been changed. real names are used. we do not protect the identities of the scandalous here.

*NOTE* in case there is any doubt, josh really does have clothes on in all photos.

picture share

my brother graduated from UO a few weeks back - here he is with my proud parents who really are happy, even if they aren't smiling. and then with andy (still at UO) and me - the non-duck of the three.


we helped pam move into her new townhouse. it was a super packed weekend of things to do. the next morning was che's wedding. here we are (me, pam, and wendy) getting stuff ready for receiving gifts and guests.


like i mentioned before, we had double wedding duty last saturday. in the morning, it was che's wedding in seattle with a reception at salty's on alki with awesome seattle weather. it's the girls - pam (the wedding coordinator), wendy (bridesmaid), che (beautiful bride), me, and alanna (gift and reception girls). we're actually missing chris, the third gift/reception girl. then it was off on a 3-hour drive down to portland to make it to mark and won's reception. it was an outdoor reception in beautiful portland summer evening weather. pam, me, and wendy are enjoying the reception. and then it's cousins chris and wendy and me. it was a fun weekend getting to hang out with everyone - even if i was sick and a little out of it. y'all need to fly down and visit me here. :D

more photos can be seen here.

phlegm and pink-eye

as i've mentioned, i've been a little sick. this morning, i woke up to nasty phlegm in my throat - i spit it out and it was olive green. sorry to those that really didn't want to know. :) and, my nose has been running snotty all day. plus, i discovered that my left eye had crusty goopy badness and pam (OD) told me it was pink-eye. and, my sunburned back finally decided to start peeling. i was hotness personified - attractive, i tell you. not really. and, i had to attend two weddings.

the weddings were lovely, as all weddings should be. i was gift girl for che and jason and just a guest for mark and won. it's always great to spend time with friends who i haven't seen in a long while. it definitely makes me miss living up here - not getting to see them whenever i want. sad.

and now, i've officially lost my voice. everytime i say something, somebody laughs at me...currently, it is mostly noah. punk. i sound like a 6 year old right now. i haven't had enough rest in the last few days to actually start recovering, but hopefully, i'll be able to get some rest tonight and tomorrow morning as pam, noah, and chris drive me up to seattle to catch my flight back to LA.

it'll be hard to leave tomorrow :(

helping hands

LA wedding sweatshop worker comes to seattle and joins two more sweatshop unions. last night we spent time helping che cut, fold, and label her table placecards. this morning, i've been helping pam move all her packed up boxes from the lower level to the main level, getting ready to jam-pack it in the u-haul in about 30 minutes.

yesterday morning, chris was driving me back to her house to rest and as we were going up the 5, i could see downtown so clearly against the blue sky. dang...i miss the beauty of the northwest. i spent yesterday having lunch and shopping with melissa, later it was shopping with chris and david at my special place, the northgate target. we then had dinner at this italian restaurant in the u-district. it was SOOO good. 6 years i lived in the area and i never ate there! so lame. that evening, it was wedding work and hanging out with friends. good times.

pilates and pedicures

on tuesday, i finally went to the 24 hour fitness near my apartment. i think it's been well over a year since i've stepped foot in a gym. i joined the group pilates class, led by this japanese woman. she was insanely flexible and kept telling us we could contort ourselves just like her. so not true. later that day, my core felt so sore. actually, it still feels sore today - everytime i cough.

later that evening, i joined with many other laborers in a wedding sweatshop. in exchange for our labor, we received a lovely korean meat bbq dinner. we were able to finish putting together all the invitations and crank out some wedding favors too. sometime that night, i started getting sick. later, i woke up in the middle of the night with chills and a fever. totally lame. i felt slightly better on wednesday and spent the day running errands on the eastside/pasadena. plus, i got my first pedicure ever! and it was awesome! thanks JT for introducting me to pedicures! the pedicurist even slipped a cuticle cutter into my purse. she was SOOO nice.

early this morning, i woke up and caught my 6:30am flight to seattle. on the flight, i was seated next to this elderly woman, who turned out to be a teacher. we chatted for awhile about her experiences and how things have changed. she was so kind and a UCLA grad too! i'm now sitting in my cousin's house trying to feel better, listening to NPR. i was hoping to get some rest this weekend, but i think the reality is that it's going to be crazy. 2 weddings on saturday - the morning in seattle and the afternoon in portland. oi. but i think we might watch nacho libre later today, so that will be low-key.

sunburn

on sunday, when we were playing volleyball, i made the mistake of thinking i had put sunblock everywhere. i later found out that i had missed a spot. the back scoop of my tanktop was slightly lower than i could reach - so now i have this weird crescent-shaped sunburn on my back - and it doesn't feel too great. in fact, it's affecting my sleep. lame.

summer vacation

so last week i finished my UCLA classes and student teaching. i went home to portland and saw my brother mike graduate from UO down in eugene. while i was there, i suffered the worst of allergy attacks. stupid eugene. i got back sunday, one week ago, and it's been pretty much summer vacation ever since.

early in the week, i got an e-mail from my principal and found out that i don't start teaching until mid-august! i was originally scheduled to start teaching july 5th, which is right around the corner, but stuff got shifted around. i'm also no longer teaching 5th grade, but have been bumped down one grade to 4th. i will be a 4th grade teacher for the next two years. so, from now until mid-august, all i have to do is just get ready to teach. other than that, it's vacation. already, i've gone running three times this last week. for most people, that doesn't sound like a big deal. but if you know me, you know that i've never really liked running. in fact, in the past, i've pretty much loathed it. i always try, because i know it's good and healthy. i'll even get as far as to get dressed and ready to go running, shoes and all. i'll even open the door and take a step outside. then i'll decide i'm too tired and then go back to bed or something. it's being an asymptote - you get so close but never quite make it there. wendy will be proud of me - i'm no longer an asymptote! :D and i played beach volleyball today. and we're playing tomorrow too. oh, and i got to see cars - totally funny and cleverly done.

this summer will also include:
exercise and outdoor activities
magic mountain
sweatshop labor for a wedding
going to weddings
shopping and prepping for teaching
a trip to vegas
teacher training
hanging out with people
relaxation and rest

this last week was also the last week of school for my 2nd graders. they wrote me letters and drew pictures for me. in a couple of the pictures, i'm blond. i guess the kids weren't going for accuracy. it was so much fun to just hang out with the kids since it was the end of the year and no real work was taking place, just lots of clean-up and play time. i'm really going to miss them and also the teachers i got to know while i was there. it was a great environment to student teach/intern at - i couldn't have asked for a bettet placement. i think that i'll have a hard time at the end of the year when i have my own classroom...then again, maybe i'll be glad to see them go... i suppose it'll depend.

four more days and i fly out to seattle again. seattle people - let's play :)

LAX --> PDX

i feel like i was on the longest flight in the history of the world to portland. we were delayed because of some weird malfunction with the boarding doors. all passengers had to walk downstairs from the terminal, outside, and then up some stairs onto the plane. it took a really, really, really long time to get everyone on that plane. and the flight attendants kept announcing that passengers who might have trouble negotiaing the stairs should wait for assistance and not attempt to board the plane like everyone else because it would cause delay. she said it a lot, and specifically timed it whenever the elderly tried to board. and then, we were sitting on the runway for another 30 minutes. you could tell that people were getting cranky...i was cranky too. to solve the problem, i went to sleep. i think it helped.

coming home is always a mixed bag of feelings. on the one hand, i'm home with my family. on the other, i'm home with my family + all their craziness.

my youngest brother just moved home for the summer. my dad drove down to eugene yesterday to help him pack up and move his stuff out of his apartment since he'll be working up here this summer. andy told me that while they were moving a couch, my dad missed seeing the curb and tripped over it, dropping the couch (but not on himself). from what i gathered, he went down and smacked the concrete with his knee and upper right chest. my poor father. the muscles in his chest hurt and he has scrapes all over his right knee...i think he might be limping a little too. he says it could've been worse. and of course, he didn't go to the doctor. and andy also told me our mom's been going deaf. like, for the last 3 weeks, her ears have been having that plugged up/on an airplane feeling. and she is refusing to have that checked out. so, all day, i've been yelling so she'll hear me. it's a little weird having extra loud conversation in public so she'll hear me. now we can really claim our asian-ness...finally!

so i'm in town for mike's graduation. now that he's got a job and stuff, his attitude/jerk commentary that was previously limited to AIM has now spilled over into real life. punk. if he didn't outweigh me by 100+ lbs, i'd kick his butt in response.

the longer i live on my own (not with my family), the more i am inclined to think that i would never be able to move back home. not because i don't love and miss them (i do - most of the time), but because i've gotten too used to having my own space apart from them. does that make me ungrateful? darn it...

all traveled out + a photo update

i got back from new orleans on thursday night. on friday, i flew out to seattle for a wedding. i just got back a couple of hours ago, and this thursday, i fly out to portland to see my brother graduate from college. so much traveling in such a short time period - it's fun, but really tiring. someone, invent teleportation...quick please.

and i finally updated my photos:

pictures from new orleans can be found here. there are also a slew of photos from the few days i just spent in seattle.

pictures from spring quarter are here.

pictures from the winter break, etc can be seen here.


in seattle, i got to see tons of people. at the wedding, i was the gift girl, which meant that i got to see everybody that walked in and say hi. yay! a job that makes it easy for me to catch up with friends. at the reception, i was seated with a couple of my old roommates and friends from college - double yay!

i visited my old church on sunday and i was pleasantly surprised to find that it was a joint service with the other taiwanese church. this means that i got to see all the friends from my old church and friends from the other church that i didn't expect to get to see. triple yay! and, to add to that, my former pastor happened to be the guest speaker, so i got to see their whole family. their girls, whom i used to babysit for the married couples fellowship, have gotten so much older - they looked so different.

seriously...9 months go by and everything is different. it's a little sad to think about all that i've missed, like all the babies are no longer babies. they're talking up a storm and running around. and there are people about to have babies. and there are some newly engaged peoples. friend are buying houses. when did everybody decide to grow up and settle down? :) ack...it's such a good craziness. now they are completely into the "young professionals" category. i think i'm supposed to be too, but i still feel like, and sort of live like, a college student. hmm...i may have to reassess my situation...


this morning, i got to have breakfast with kristie, jerm, chris, and david. then, i stopped over to see the nakanos and play with the kids. then, it was off to lunch with melissa (newly graduated physical therapist - yay!!!), parker, wing onn, joyce, and chris.

and now i can rest and sleep in my own bed for two days before i fly out again. oi.