merry christmas!

merry christmas! tomorrow, the extended family comes over for christmas dinner. i'm thinking it shall be fun. it's something we haven't done for quite a few years. i miss those days, and maybe tomorrow can be the restart of that particular tradition.

family time

on sunday afternoon, it snowed! it snowed enough that stores closed down and commerce was shut down for an afternoon. everything outside was snowy/icy, depending on your elevation. it was great! and it only lasted for a day, so we didn't get stir crazy being trapped together. the day before that, our power went out for about 4 hours because of a fatty windstorm. so without power, which means no internet, tv, etc, we grabbed flashlights and played 13 and texas hold 'em (but not for real money, just...uh...pride). it was pretty amusing.

- - - - - - -

i've been home for a week, and i've just been hanging out with my family, cooking, running errands, shopping. now, people know i have much love for target. i have been to target almost everyday since i've been home. even i am almost getting sick of going there. almost. it's been to get random things for my mom like band-aids, lotion, cleaning supplies (since christmas is at our house this year), storage containers (for mike who's finished UO and has officially moved back home), and other household goodies. i think the reason that i'm almost sick of going there is because of the quantity of other people there. it's just a handful of shopping days before christmas and people are savages. i much prefer my target time when it's not as crowded.

- - - - - - -

my parents haven't really cooked at home in years. since we've been out of the house for the last few years, my parents just eat out all the time. but now that we're home for break/permanently, my parents find it a hassle to figure out where to eat all the time for all meals. so, they've gone back to cooking at home. this has been great for me, because i get to eat well, and learn how to make it. the only downside is my mom's constant declaration about how i chop stuff so slowly that when i have my own children, they will starve before i finish prepping. hey, i can't help it if i'm careful and ultra-paranoid about slicing off much-needed fingers with sharp knives. better safe than sorry. while we've been cooking, which has become a family thing - i help chop/cook, mom supervises, dad makes some stuff, mike and andy set the table and wash dishes - other extended family has been busy making things too. my aunt made a bunch of bao zi and my family had eaten all except one. i woke up one morning and realized that there were two left from the day before and i hadn't yet had one. i ran downstairs and grabbed the last one and ate it before my dad woke up and got to it. my dad, whom i like to call "father" just because i find it amusing, will eat whatever is lying around, and if you don't label it, he'll just take it. it's a survival contest here.

i think it broke

on monday morning, i woke up and my neck hurt really, really bad. i slept on it funny, and it was super painful. i couldn't really turn my head and tilt it back, or lean it forward for that matter. i never realized how heavy my stupid head is. it's gotten better over the week, but it still hurts, but only on the right side. and i still can't tilt it back. is everyone's head this heavy? i know that according to the little kid in jerry maguire, it weighs 8lbs...that's a lot, a bowling ball in fact. and my cheek hurts too. i went to see the dentist and i had some cavaties...which is super not cool since i've been taking care of my teeth, with flossing and listerine and everything! boo. it actually kind of feels like when i had my wisdom teeth pulled, except it doesn't look swollen, it only feels like it.

have i mentioned how i love vacation? i really missed having winter break over the last 2 years.

back at home

i'm back at home in portland. i think i flew on one of the tiniest planes yet...12.5 rows of seats. i slept the whole way. my brothers and my mom picked me up and we ate dim sum! hooray! and it's flippin' cold here, just like winter should be. i think it's still in the higher 60s in LA, which just seems wrong for december. i love winter. and i'm super excited to be home. i think this is the first time i've ever flown back here for a break. it's a little weird. but on the plus side, i think my family has really missed me, which will hopefully translate to be spoiled rotten. and by spoiled, i mean eating a lot of good food. double hooray!

chip leader

my group and i finished our ed psych paper around 2pm. emmy and i decided to grab lunch afterwards and celebrate the fact that we're done. then we did a little light shopping along westwood. later, she picked me up and we headed over to west hollywood for a team potluck/poker night. i made it past the first round and then started playing like "crazy" as one of my cohort friends likes to call it. anyway, i was chip leader back and forth for awhile and because it was getting late, i just went all in and i ended up winning $40. not too shabby. the people that were out early in the game played "spoons" with punishments that steph k. made up. stuff like making up a rap song about our team advisor, trying to kiss your elbow, walk like a model, etc. it was pretty hilarious. yay, i super enjoy my cohort buddies!

more photos here (new pictures at the end).

98% done

wendy: let's watch narnia. NARNIA!
me: i don't really feel like it. is that bad?
wendy: yes, it means you're not christian.
me: (pause) hahahahaha!
wendy: HAHAHAHAHA!

that wendy, sometimes she's pretty funny.

anyway, i to see narnia last night. it was good. it wasn't great, but i liked it. i think there were some moments that the filmmakers didn't mean to be funny, but i heard laughter anyway, and i think some of it was mine.

i'm sitting at the campus computer lab waiting for the rest of my group to finish typing up their portions of our ed psych paper and then we can edit and then we will be done! wahoo!

one to go

i'm about 90% done! i have one assignment left to complete - a paper for my educational psychology class. it shouldn't be too bad. and, i'm getting set to meet with my advisor to discuss my student teaching placements (grade level, school, etc) for winter and spring quarter. how exciting! i'm thinking one placement somewhere between 1st - 3rd grade and the second one in 6th grade.

the last two weeks, i've been at a middle school and it's been pretty great. i'm thinking my middle school affection was heavily influenced by JEMS warm beach experiences. middle schoolers are funny. they are also shocking. one of the guiding teachers told us that she had 3 parents in the class. 3 parents! as susan would say, "it's fetuses having fetuses." we were stunned. i'm still stunned.

and in other middle school news, angel, teaching english in japan with the JET program sent me "letters to santa" written by her 8th grade 2nd year english language students. i volunteered to write letters back as "santa." actually, i wrote some letters and my friend judy wrote some letters. and some people from my lovely cohort helped me decorate them with gel pens. yay! the letters are pretty dang cute (the ones from the students). i love having helpful friends!

God is SOOO gracious

early last month, i took the CSET. it's a standardized test that tests my content knowledge in the areas of english/language arts/literacy methods, US history/world history, science, math, PE, human development, and the arts. this is the test that i had to pass to be able to student teach for winter and spring quarter. well, i got the results today, and i passed all subtests! hoorah!

and i've also just finished the biggest paper out of all the ones i have due this week. it's a group essay, a 15-20 pager and i was not feeling motivated at all to write my portion. but my group is great and they're smart, so it helped...a lot. and now it's one less thing to worry about.

i'm just glad i'll be able to follow the outlines of my program and start student teaching next quarter. it would've really sucked not to pass.

in other news, i'm trying to start and end my day by intentionally spending time with God, in the reading of the Word and through prayer. i've have not been good about starting the day this way, only ending it. but i'm thinking this new thing i'm trying it will be good. i post this so i'll hopefully be more accountable to it. hooray for using blogs positively.

last week!

i took the RICA yesterday. there's a good chance i passed. there's also an equally good chance that i did not. ah well. i'll find out in january. after the 4 hour test, i refused to study anymore for the rest of the day. instead, i went out and had dinner at a cantonese seafood restaurant, where we pigged out on crab, beef, chicken, soup, and veggies. and then it was boba at tea station. and then, we went to see rent. i've never seen the stage musical, but i really enjoyed the movie.

now it's back to work. this is the last week of school!

...

good at math? check.

relatively obedient? check.

overachiever? check.

model minority? check.

crap. i'm a stereotype.

i've been trying to figure out my expectations. where's the line between having high expectations and just being nit-picky/legalistic? i don't have the answer. all i get are more questions. arg.

countdown

only two more weeks of class and it's vacation time! w00t! [i learned more about this handy expression from a lovely mouse pad courtesy of grace and joe's wedding - thanks!]
but this also means that i only have a handful of days to complete all of my final papers/projects. plus, i have the last of my standardized test to get my preliminary credential this saturday - the RICA. it's all about literacy - how to assess and teach it. i really need to pass. it's too expensive to have to retake.

have i mentioned that i enjoy school? even though it can be overwhelming and intense, i love learning new things! i don't feel like my brain is atrophying! hurrah!

the thing i find really entertaining about sitemeter is when it lists the searches conducted by others that somehow, lead to the blog. someone searched for the words "spandex" and "humiliation" together and msn led them here. really, really weird.

hurrah!

my turkey turned out great! at least that's what everybody said and i have no reason to think that they would lie to me. :) it was a recipe that susan got from real simple. i think they called it molasses butter turkey. and the use of the oven bag kept the turkey from going overly dry. it was pretty tasty! there were a ton of leftovers, so we put them in tupperware for people to take home. we'll all be eating thanksgiving food for days. hurrah!


this was our pretty food table. everybody brought something. there was creamed corn, creamed spinach with artichoke, couscous with tofu (so good!), green beans, pillsbury cheddar biscuits, garlic mashed potatoes, and salad with sesame-style dressing. there was a lot of food. oh, and sam made some great strawberry lemonade, better than red robin's, i tell you.

and in between waiting, eating, and resting, we watched the end of dodgeball, 50 first dates, and episodes of ducktales. and played apples to apples and taboo. i got to introduce apples to apples to everybody and for the first time in a while, the girls did not beat the boys at taboo. it was 103 to 104. it seemed like a suspicious win for the boys.

and before everybody went home, i had to take a group photo. the photo is missing grace and joe, who came by for games...yay!

happy thanksgiving!

happy thanksgiving! i love celebrations and holidays - even in 72 degree weather. craziness.

cartoon nostalgia

on monday, i went to ups to pick up my package from amazon. i bought ducktales and chip and dale: rescue rangers (both sets are volume one of the series) on dvd. so exciting! ducktales is just as awesome as i remember. it's so much fun!!!

i also started defrosting the turkey for the "orphans" thanksgiving dinner. this will be my first attempt at cooking turkey and i'm hoping it turns out really well, otherwise, people won't have a lot to eat on thursday.

and woohoo to thanksgiving vacation! i will use it to finish off portions of class homework and study for a literacy exam (RICA), at least i will try and do those things during the break.

and i added a few more photos.

color me disappointed

ok, so continuing with my story about the t-shirt incident, i decided that i'm not as annoyed at the embarrassment portion of the situation as i am at the fact that not a single guy stepped up to move the conversation to a different topic. i can even admit at the stupidity/complicity in not recognizing the potential misinterpretation of the shirt. i suppose these days i can no longer expect people to not look for the double entendre in everything. regardless, after it's been highlighted, and laughed about, there's a moment when it's time to move on. i was getting uncomfortable by the attention that was being brought into it, and i while i could've left, personal pride kept me there, trying to weather through. and while i could've just called them on it, or even if another girl said something, it just wouldn't have been taken in the same way as if just one guy...ONE...had said something. i'm pretty disappointed.

just another example of the inheritance of a patriarchal, male-dominated society - a girl's opinions/thoughts just don't seem to carry the same weight as a guy's. not cool.

all your dirty minds are belong to boys

some people just absolutely love and crave attention. i don't really care for that much, especially if it's bad attention. it's probably a good thing i'm resilient from being friends with people who've mocked me enough to build up my protective exterior. to be fair, i've mocked them right back.

so anyway, i have this t-shirt, which wendy designed for a campus crusade epic ministries conference. i did not attend this conference, i just got the shirt because it's from american apparel (which means it's super comfortable and sweatshop-free) and because it looked cute and stemmed from a nifty concept. the concept being that 18 inches is the average distance from your head to your heart, meaning bridging the gap in regards to your faith from mind to heart. unfortunately, this is not how people interpret the shirt. case in point, i wore the shirt today, without any thought to wrongful interpretations, and someone, a dude, asked what my shirt meant. so i explain the conference theme, etc. and he's like, "cool." 15 minutes later, another dude asks about the shirt, and i repeat my explanation. but of course, he decides to share what he thought it might have referred to with the group.* and from there it became a complete scene.

by now, i've explained this conference theme way too many times. one guy said, "oh, it's a real conference?" as if i made it up just to justify an alternative explanation of the shirt that wasn't dirty. seriously people. if i had had a sweatshirt or something, i would've put it on, but of course, it was 90 degrees today and no such luck. i left the table several times to get more food - plus, i thought it might let the whole situation die. again, i was not so fortunate. the guys just thought it was really funny, and really felt the need to ask practically every single other person in the room. that's just awesome. (extreme sarcasm)

i tried to wait it out, but i gave up. i can never, ever, ever wear the shirt again. which is so sad because it is supremely comfortable (and sweatshop-free!).

i couldn't let the embarrassment just be embarrassment. to make the endurance of the whole thing worthwhile, it had to at least become a shared story. public humiliation builds character. yea...that's what i'll keep telling myself.

*no, i will not explain what he thought it meant to you.

high...and i don't mean on drugs

ok... i try pretty hard not to get addicted to any one thing, except tv/movies/books/music. :) but i'm starting to see why playing poker (texas hold 'em) is addicting for people. i'm pretty sure i've only played poker with real money about 5 times in my whole life and 3 of those times where during this last week (monday, friday, today/saturday). i'm still jittery from my win. i took home $55 today. but i did lose a total of $15 in buy-ins from the previous two games. i've decided that i can't play anymore. it's way too nervewracking. my palms were all sweaty and my heart was beating too fast. seriously...i'm still wide awake.

this last week of school was interesting. i'm ended my rotation in the 5th grade class and i'm not sure if i prefer lower-elementary or upper. they both have their own pros and cons. i am starting to see more of the difficult things i'll encounter in an urban school setting. in theory, i know that drive-bys and gangs exist in a variety of neighborhoods, but hearing the librarian talk to the 10 year-olds during library time about how they know that gangs and drive-bys exist/happen in their community still surprised me. it's hard because everything in so many ways is outside of my personal reality in terms of how i've grown up and lived my life over the last 25 years. over and over again, i wonder at my ability and capacity to be effective as a teacher in every aspect. it's like being teacher/social worker/parent/advocate/protector all at the same time and i'm feeling inept. i'm hoping this isn't actually true, otherwise my future students are going to suffer...big time, and i would absolutely hate that. they deserve so much better than an inept teacher. *sigh* but according to my team advisor, these feelings are hitting at about the expected time in the program. it's nice to know it's "normal."

the 80s strike back

last saturday, i took the big test. i used up all 5 hours, but i think there's good chance i passed all three subtests. i'll be keeping my fingers crosses until dec. 5th, when the scores are released. this whole last week has been all about relaxing since the two weeks before were full of cramming and studying. and since today was a holiday, i spent the afternoon kayaking with some fun people from my teaching cohort. the water was a little stinky, but it was still way fun.

on my list of things to do before i get extremely old, there is no listing for "go to a keggar." but if it was on my list, i can now cross it off. a friend from one my classes threw a theme party - the 80s high school keggar. since none of us were old enough to actually party during the 80s, she and her roommates wanted to create the experience. their setup and research about the theme came from 80s movies...you know...the breakfast club, pretty in pink, and of course, sixteen candles, which they had playing on repeat in the background. they actually had a keg, which i didn't know you could actually buy. and people dressed up in total 80s gear...cheerleaders, ugly prom dresses, lots of spandex, some leotards, denim on denim, and dudes in pants that were way too tight and shorts that were way too short - so not ok. the music was a mix of 80s and current pop/hip hop/rap. susan has this observation about anglo-dancing - she's not wrong. the thing that was a little weird to me was that most of the people were from my friend's church, bel air presbyterian. huh. while i've become more "liberal" in my beliefs (social justice, anyone?), i'm crazy conservative regarding behavior. ass-grabbing just doesn't say "presbyterian" to me.

and since i haven't done this in a while:

currently listening to:

kanye west - late registration

shakira - fijación oral

switchfoot - nothing is sound

currently watching:

he-man and the masters of the universe - vol. 1

the wb/fox + veronica mars

currently reading:

pedagogy of freedom - paulo freire

teaching community: a pedagogy of hope - bell hooks

pedagogy of the oppressed - paulo freire

these days, all of my reading is academic. sometimes it's incredibly boring (textbooks), but more often it's completely enlightening. as one of my classmates said, "it's completely overwhelming." if you can, read some of paulo freire's stuff - it's pretty amazing.

new rotation

i started a new rotation this week in a 5th grade class. this class is much more diverse with latino, asian, filipino, and black kids. there is a set of twin boys named elvis and ivan. they're chinese. i love the names. chinese people come up with the craziest names. i was thinking today, what are some weird things to name your kids, and i came up with feldspar. what can i say, i was studying a bunch of science today that included geology. i take another test this saturday morning and i have to pass all 3 subtests so that i can student teach starting in january. i think it's harder than the SATs...no joke.

saks

i went to saks fifth avenue today with my roommate. i do not normally shop at saks...ever. and this is why:

i saw a theory blazer with the price tag of $495.00. it's just a velvet blazer...made in china, like the ones that my mom used to try to get me to wear, except this one had a better cut. even so, no stylistic cut is worth paying $495.00. for that much money, it either needs to be made out of gold, come with a cure for some kind of infectious disease, or offer a solution to a relevant social problem. i think i actually channeled some "garrett" anger the longer i stayed in the store. i even saw this girl who didn't look any older than 13/14 shopping with her mom, picking out pieces of clothing that were upwards of $150.00. i was appalled, not only by the fact that her mom would even entertain the idea of buying her the crazy expensive clothing, but by the fact that she was in a short and fitted button-up t-shirt dress and knee/thigh boots. to use somebody else's words, "i was aghast." seriously.

don't get me wrong, i still love to go shopping and browse, but i'm satisfied even when i just get toilet paper, or even when i don't buy anything at all. i think i'm bothered by what i perceive as waste in throwing money towards clothing manufactured in countries like china and brazil where it's unlikely that they're seeing very much of that $495.00. eh, but somebody could argue the same about my spending habits i suppose.

mid-quarter

this is what i found sunday afternoon. i've had an ongoing battle with argentinian ants since we moved in. they were gone for awhile because we had a visit from pest control, but then they started nesting and laying eggs...in my room! i saturated the area with raid and then we vaccuumed the dead bodies. it's been a week and i can still smell the raid. paz, from the pest control company, told me that raid is very, very bad for people. crap. she stopped by today to strategically place some more ant poison. hopefully, this kills off the colonies that inhabit my walls.

so this is the end of the 5th week, and i'm just about halfway done with fall quarter. i've never studied so much in my life. but it's been fun, especially our classroom observations. i've spent the last 3 weeks in a 1st grade bilingual spanish classroom and it has been such an amazing experience. the kids are too cute, even the ones that act out more than the others. today was the last day of this rotation so emmy and i brought cookies and juice for the kids. we got lots of hugs and waves in return. i'll miss those little squirts. :) next week, we start our rotation in a 5th grade class in east LA. so exciting.

and i finally updated photos.

total fraud

i've been MIA from my blog. i've been in school for about two full weeks now, and i'm exhausted. i had completely forgotten what it's like to be in school. there's so much reading and thinking and discussion. i even had myself a good mini-cry earlier in the week because i was feeling anxiety about the workload and feeling unsure of my choice to pursue this whole teacher ed. thing. honestly, just about everyday this last week, i wondered it i would be able to see this through. the huge responsibility of it all truly hit me and it made me want to crawl into bed and hide in fear - fear of failure, of not being gifted enough to do this.

i so don't want to be the crappy teacher that fails to teach a child the necessary literacy skills, thereby screwing them over for the rest of their natural lives. HUGE RESPONSIBILITY. it causes me so much anxiety - i couldn't eat well earlier in the week. i wanted to throw up...a lot. i was relieved to find that a couple of other people in my cohort felt the same. they had a good cry too. we now share a bond. it's like anyday now, my advisor, or another peer in my cohort, is going to discover that i know absolutely nothing. nothing. i look around my classes and as i listen to people's comments, it just feels like they know so much about the things that we're learning, whether it's learning theories, educational psychology, or being really familiar with the buzz words of the program "social justice." dude, i grew up in middle to upper-middle class predominantly white suburbia. i don't know the first thing about being underprivileged or truly what it means to be marginalized in society. this also causes me anxiety.

but, it's all good too. everyday i'm struggling and being challenged. i haven't been moved out of my comfort zone in a long time. i love how God brings us full circle again and again. i'm reminded about the first time i moved away from home and went to college. that whole first year was all about challenges and stepping out of the boat. how fitting that the same theme is being brought back into my life to give new life and direction for my faith as i'm away from home a second time.

i have come to understand how underpaid and underappreciated teachers are. big thanks for all of my former educators. i was lucky enough to have a whole slew of amazing teachers and i hope to become one of them.

orientation

i started my orientation for the teacher ed program at UCLA today. i'm so tired. i did lots of things over this last week before fall quarter started, and i'll recap them later. i still have pictures to upload. i'll get to it all later.

1 week!

i've been here for a week! somehow, it feels longer than that. pam was here visiting over the weekend. i joined her and her eye school friends in venice beach on saturday afternoon, after i had lunch with grace. venice beach was kind of a trip because there are just all kinds of people. we walked pass a movie set for southland tales, but sadly, i did not see the rock nor buffy. celebrity sightings = 0.

we had dinner at bcd tofu house and had the best service ever. seriously. they even initiated the offer to give us separate checks and my water glass was never empty. we suspect that it was because there were 3 white girls and 1 east indian girl with us. mental note to self, always bring white people with me to korean restaurants.

sunday morning, pam, joe, and i went to newsong LA. i liked the pastor's speaking/preaching style. this church has ministries for everything. they even have a parking ministry. and they had all these multimedia video plugs to join ministries. even their programs were super nicely done in a comic book style. i compare it to a retreat/conference experience, possibly like cohi, only with more polish and glitz. this is a ginormously different experience to my church in seattle. i still can't quite handle it. afterwards, two of pams friends joined us and we all explored this area near my apartment called "little osaka." later for dinner, it was a semi-oregon reunion for brazilian bbq. it was a meat-fest. and i got to have guaraná!!! i haven't had that in 5 years. it was sooo good.

in the short time i've been here, i've already eaten way too much. this is probably bad for me. i must show more restraint and self-control...or at least pretend to try...

new and old

i've been slowly unpacking and it's like...halfway done. bah. unpacking is only slightly less lame than packing.

since i got here, i've been to monterey park twice while my dad was here. i've also been to the DMV twice. i've got my california license and new plates too. people who work at the DMV are joyless people; it's quite tragic. i've gone to costco, target (my home away from home), linens 'n things, bed bath & beyond, staples, and school (UCLA) already. so most of the things that i have to do, i've done. now i can do fun things, like go to 3rd street promenade, the mall, the grove (fun outdoor mall in the style of u village...sort of), old town pasadena, pretty much wherever i want! yay! driving here isn't too crazy, mostly because...i fit right in! actually, i'm much more tame by comparison.

yesterday, i went to a bbq at joe ying's friend's apartment. it is confusing to meet a whole bunch of people you don't know at one time. but it was super fun. i met a girl who is starting the same program at UCLA also in elementary education. now we each have a friend on the first day of school. yay! the people's craziness revealed itself later in the evening. it reminded me of friends and group hangs back in seattle/portland. and i wonder if we seem crazy (in a good way) to new people too. i even met a girl who could tell i wasn't from LA because i looked "wholesome." i decided to take that as a compliment. being wholesome is definitely better than the alternative. it was pretty funny.

and now pam is in LA and we'll get to play! and on a random note, i got back in touch with another friend, also named pam, over the last couple of days and we got to talk this morning. she called all the way from germany. i haven't seen her since...my first year in college. it's fun making new friends and finding old ones.

in babylon

i made it to LA, aka babylon as garrett likes to call it. the total time traveled was 20 hours, which included stopping for gas and food. i only ended driving a total of 5 hours, which means my awesome dad drove 15. we left portland a little after noon on monday and got to my apartment a little after 8am on tuesday. two mexican guys, antonio and daniel, flagged us down and offered their labor services to move my stuff into my 2nd floor apartment. so moving in was done in record time. now i'm just trying to unpack and get settled. tomorrow i plan on getting my california driver's license. i've already found my costco and best buy. i haven't gone to target yet, but i will tomorrow! yay! come and visit!

clean sweep

i'm in the process of cleaning out my room and figuring out what i'm taking to LA. in the middle of all of that, these are just some of the things that i've come across:

senior t-shirt from high school

dragon boat team t-shirt from '99

junior girl scout uniform from 5th grade

various t-shirts from my brazil 2000 mission trip, including an LA Lakers championship t-shirt forced upon me by misguided fans of the lakers

'97 nike volleyball camp t-shirt

a drawer full of old letters, notes, card, postcards, etc. - which i can't quite make myself throw away

old tapes and cds: ace of base, blessed union of souls, etc

way too many VHS recordings of various 'n sync tv appearances + magazines - there was a period of teenybopper temporary insanity

CEC agape youth group t-shirt

old RAV t-shirts

alpha omega (high school christian club) t-shirt

jr. high diary - i'm horrified

my high school yearbooks...i realized that i forgot a lot of stuff that happened during those years as i was reading through the things that people wrote

lots and lots of old photos

i've found clothing from jr. high in my closet. why is it still in there? i have no idea - except to say that i have a difficult time throwing things away. i keep thinking of its sentimental value. but i'm making progress. i have a big garbage bag full of throw-aways and 2 bags of clothing to be donated. and there is still so much more to go...

pit stop: portland

i got into portland sunday night around 9:30pm. all in one piece. i think siobhan was worried that my mattress would fly off of my car and create a crazy news story. miraculously, all of my junk that was left fit into my car. siobhan, kristie, and garrett helped me pack up. and eagle scout ryan helped secure the mattress on top of the car. friends are great. and they shall be missed. therefore, they must visit me in LA.

i'm home for another week and a half. i'll start emptying out my boxes and sorting and repacking everything...tomorrow.

meanwhile, check out some new pictures.

pack and clean

i have recently come to terms with the fact that i still have a lot of stuff. the twin mattress must now be strapped to the top of the car. previously, i was under the mistaken impression that i could fit that, plus all the rest of my stuff inside the car. i am no longer in denial. moving is so not fun when you have more stuff than you thought.

we are also in the process of cleaning. we love the salvation army. we hope they love us too.

we looked at the front of our lawn earlier tonight and the reclining sofa/couch was gone. someone must have decided to take it afterall - and just after we scheduled a pick up with the seattle garbage removal peoples. our hope is that it does not reappear back on the curb, the way one yucky grill did, which did later get taken by another.

i think we're all just super tired. packing, moving, and cleaning is hard work.

cleaning

it's been two whole weeks since my last post! i try and keep up, but honestly, i don't know how some people are able to post once, and sometimes twice, a day. i have been slowly trying to clean and pack and it is not joyful. some people love cleaning and packing. i am not one of those people. i have the hardest time throwing things away. i like to keep things because i think that maybe, just maybe, i will find a need for it someday. my coworker jane, a mom with 3 kids around my age, is really good about trying to get me to see the light and throw stuff away. i think of her as the white mom i never had. all of us girls at the office love her as she is supremely fun and way maternal.

speaking of work, this is also my last week. last friday was really supposed to be my last day, but my little training manual project has taken more time than i anticipated. so, this friday will actually be my very last day of work. so while i'm completely excited not to work, i'm finding that i'm surprisingly sad. for all my complaints about work over the last 3 years, there are definitely things i will miss: my new coworkers, my employers, goofing off and sharing stories, and my access to lovely discounts on eyewear. i'm also going to miss some of the patients too. like sometimes, they just surprise you and say the nicest things. i'm telling you, when people are nice and pleasant, it just makes you want to super help them. when they are obnoxious and snotty, i do not want to give them any help at all, but i do anyway, since it's a job requirement. lesson: try and be nice to the people in service and only give attitude when it's actually necessary.

i feel like i've packed a good portion of stuff up, but i also feel like my room looks just as full as ever. it makes me want to scream.

wedding bonanza

i'll write about it later. but here are the pictures: wedding.



[edit/update]
ok, so we drove down thursday morning and got to portland around 2pm. we worked on getting the programs finished. there was lots of slave-like labor going on with putting the pages in order, punching holes, and inserting the grommets. peoples ears were ringing from the hammers used for punching holes and grommets. then we went to dinner at sushiland. we ran some last minute errands at target and then went bowling. the bowling alley also has a mini arcade that has this ghetto photo game. the game gives you two photos side by side and you have to find what's different in the photos. we had like 8 people gathered around the small screen. 'twas fun. and it was nice seeing a bunch of people that i hadn't seen in a long time.

friday morning, i slept in and was no help in putting the flowers together for bouquets and boutonnieres. but, i redeemed myself by drawing up the map for the set-up team at the wedding site. it was quite good if i do say so myself. after finishing up last minute items, we all headed out to the reception site and it was crazy hot. the park was super pretty. some chairs were set up and once most of the people arrived, rehearsal started. we had to grab some stand-in groomsmen since 3 of the guys were delayed by traffic. the whole thing was practiced 3 times and by then, we were all sweaty and hungry. and then it was on to dinner at our uncle's restaurant. good food, fun, and relaxation before the big event. we had wanted to take wendy out for karaoke, but she had a couple more things to finish. no rest for the busy bride.

on saturday morning, we got our hair done downtown at a beauty school and our make-up at the nordstrom counter. i have learned never to believe the lady when she says that it looks "very natural" and that it's "not too dramatic." you would think that i'd have learned this by now since every time i've had to have make-up done it always ends up being too much. after the primping, we joined wendy at her hotel where i proceeded to remove some of make-up. sadly, there was still a lot. room service was ordered, but the somehow, the order was lost. we waited for a while and finally called them to check on our order. wendy pulled the "i'm getting married today and i'm hungry" card and they promptly delivered our meal, on the house. the food was really, really good. light, fluffy, flakey fish and chips and a club sandwich. we all got dressed, helped wendy into her dress and drove to the park.

next came photos. photos of the bride and groom, their immediate families, their extended families, the bridal party, etc. i can't wait to see how their photos turned out. after all of that, we hung out in the lobby of some random business building for the usage of their A/C until it was time for the ceremony. we prayed together and then it was time to head back. the ceremony was on the shorter side, which was great because we were all wilting like flowers. it was super duper hot, like people were sweating left and right. even when we walked up to the bridal entrance, all sorts of guests were huddled back there because it was one of the only places that had shade. it was pretty funny. from the ceremony, we went straight to the reception and dinner. there was a slide show, a first dance, some stories shared, toasts, cake, and dancing. then it was time for the lovely couple to say good night. the groomsmen did a fantastic job with the car markers and balloons in decorating the getaway convertible. even better, josh was so stunned by the awesomeness of the decorations that he hit the curb on their way out. hahaha.

a lot of people stayed behind to help put things away and clean things up. friends are fabulous. and thus, the wedding bonanza came to a close. :D

photo update

i went to LA over the weekend. i feel like all we did was eat. that, and go to grace and joe's wedding. :) the time was marked by eating. the corner bakery, green tea terrace, roscoe's chicken and waffles, sam woo bbq, bcd tofu house, the dragon (reception site), and a super yummy taiwanese cafe called xiao mei (or something like that). they had shaved ice and shanghai pan-fried dumplings. so delicious.

grace and joe's wedding was super fun and again, we ate...a lot. there were a lot of courses to that dinner. yay! and afterwards, we got to hang out with them a little out in santa monica before they left the next day for vegas.

in 4 short days in LA, i learned to navigate my way around...sort of. i'm pretty handy with a map and i know my directions (north, south, east, and west). and people already say i drive crazy anyway, so i fit right in.

photos from camping, whirlyball, and the LA trip can be seen here.

1000

according to sitemeter, i have hit 1000+ visits since i signed up with them. to add to the funny searches that have taken people to this blog, i present "abe the rockstar" from a google search.

i'm back from LA. i'm super tired and pictures will follow. really, they will.

key words

the thing i think is really neat about sitemeter is that you can see how people get to your page. 2nd place for weirdest referring page is a google search for "steph infection." that is not at all flattering. but, the craziest one i've seen is someone's search for "half-naked garrett." i told garrett that this obviously indicates that he has a stalker of some kind.

so very square

jeana came to visit this weekend and on friday night, and we went to the old spaghetti factory for dinner. towards the end of the meal, pam said she saw movement from under the table across from us. jeana and i were looking and i saw nothing while jeana spied a piece of lettuce. we thought pam was on crack. but, as we kept looking, a small mouse suddenly appeared and scurried across the floor. we all lightly screamed. we told our waiter who then told the manager, who came over to make sure everything was ok. i think he would've comped portions of our dinner, but we didn't have him do that since we were done eating and the food was great. he seemed awfully nervous about the situation and it wasn't until later, after kristie mentioned that they could potentially be shut down, that i realized why he was so concerned. sometimes, i am not so quick. jeana actually saw the mouse again as we were getting ready to leave. she does not have love for mice. neither does che, and she has a totally crazy story about her encounter. y'all should ask her about it.

i saw fantastic four on saturday. after the movie, some peoples went to ohana, a hawaiian-type place in belltown. previously to saturday, i had never been to belltown on a weekend evening; it was usually sometime during the work week. on a weekend, there are crazy people out. when i say crazy, i mean people who are cruising 1st ave. with their windows open and their lyrically inappropriate music blasting out of the car, with girls who are dressed almost not at all, and skeezy looking guys calling for the girls' attention. this is what i imagine hell to be like. [it is also how i imagine LA to be. i have no idea if that's actually true, but it's the mental picture i associate with LA. sorry people who love LA. i'm sure i'll change my opinion after i move.]

ok, it probably wasn't that bad. but i think i was shocked and confused by all the noise and busyness. to me, it seemed obnoxious - people trying to see and be seen. i think that i'm missing the genetic component that lets me think that any of all of the above described would be fun and enjoyable. it was definitely interesting to see. i have no idea how i'm going to survive LA. i think this is officially when i stopped being in denial about how square i really am. one particular pointy-eared friend would say i'm boring and blame it on me being from oregon. but i think he's recently discovered that in fact, oregon has nothing to do with it. oh well. :)

i finally got to play whirlyball this weekend. it was fun! i'm have a little soreness and a few bruises, but it was totally worth it. it's basically like lacrosse/basketball in bumper cars. great friendly/competitive fun. pictures will follow soon, along with camping pictures too.

i came home from dinner and as always, i do a spider check of my room. good thing too, since i found a big one near my door, a slightly smaller one in the corner of my room, and 5 teeny, tiny little baby spiders on my wall and ceiling. should i be alarmed at finding that many spiders? and where did they come from? i seriously hate spiders.

was that me?

sometimes, i'm hazy on the details when i read through old posts. i wonder if that means my memory is fading and i'm getting old. i'll read an entry and it's just so weird because i think, "did i write that?" and "it doesn't sound like me." mostly i think that i wrote better stuff before.

independence day...mine.

long weekends are great because they let you relax and do fun things. then the weekend is over and you have to go back to work. you get to work and things are good because you still remember your fun weekend. it is 2 hour later when work makes you want to tear out your hair and potentially cause bodily harm to those around you. you then have to remind yourself that you are, generally speaking, a sane person. you repeat this to yourself several times, while taking deep, calming breaths. this will seem to help for about 10 minutes. then you have to remember that august 12th is your independence day. freedom from the tyranny of work...at least for a little while.

camping!

i went camping at lake easton this past weekend. it was a lot of fun. i must have remembered some stuff from all those camping trips back in high school because i set up a tent almost by myself. stone had an assist. :D we had campfires, marshmallows, smores, bacon and eggs, french toast, spam musubi, sandwiches, penne pasta, spinach salad, french bread, cup noodles, hotdogs - basically, a lot of good food. and, we still have pasta leftovers, which will be our lunches and dinners for days. we played lawn bowling, went canoeing, played volleyball, king elephant, taboo, and just hung out by the fire. definitely a super fun trip.

today we visited ikea for the last day of the sale. then it was using up the extra tomatoes by making salsa and putting some of the extra pasta in a cassarole for a 4th of july potluck. the movie of the evening was independence day and fireworks were seen from the rooftop of stone and his roommate's queen anne apartment. there were a lot of people packed into a limited space and lots of fun had by all.

and it's back to work. bleh.

lazy.

i feel lazy. end of post.

!!!

i finally watched batman begins and it was freakin' amazing! i loved every moment of it. wendy has lumped me in the same category as star wars fans - only because i said that i didn't know if i could wait 2+ years for a sequel and that i wanted to drive the batmobile. i would like to point out that geeking out over batman is many, many, many steps above geeking out over star wars.

i also watched bewitched and it was way cute. i very much liked it.

pot roast

i discovered that qfc has this amazing pot roast sandwich. it's got thick slices of savory meat, topped with carmelized onions and horseradish sauce on ciabatta bread, with the option of tomato slices. seriously, if at lunch you're unsure of what to eat, find yourself a qfc and get this sandwich. it's good.

sinus infection

thursday evening, i was visited by some jerk sinus fairies. my eye doesn't twitch anymore...much. but, my snot is green. eww! and, yesterday i was driving on I-90 for an hour to west seattle and i did not have a single piece of kleenex in the car, except for the one i used in the morning. so for a whole hour, i used the same piece of kleenex. sooooooooo gross. che said that she would've started using her sleeve. i think that's yucky. can you imagine - crusty dried snot all over your sleeves? and now, my nose is all peeling from the abrasiveness of cheap tissue. it's crazy attractive.

stress indicator

the bottom of my right eye keeps pulsating and twitching. it has been doing this since last monday. i've tried to sleep more/get more rest, but it just keeps on twitching. i think my eye is telling me that i'm stressed. i should probably figure out what i'm stressed about and deal with it because this whole twitching thing, it's getting on my nerves.

miracle worker

three stores down from my work is andre's shoe service. i found out recently that andre is also the owner of andre's dry cleaners in snoqualmie. margarita, the tailor two stores from work, referred me to him when i brought my bridesmaid dress to her to see if she would know what to do about the oil paint stain. yesterday morning, i picked up my dress from andre and it was clean! no oil paint stains left, that i could see. and he had it pressed and he didn't even make me drive to snoqualmie to pick it up, he brought it to his shoe place. margarita and andre are awesome.

i see now that i also have to drop a few pounds. the corset around the rib cage is feeling just a little too snug. yesterday, i'm pretty sure that i saw some horizontal stretch lines along the vertical seams - so not good.

opposites

yesterday, a mom brought her son in to have an eye exam. she also brought his little brother and sister. the boy, who is about 8 years old, was very against having his eyes dilated; he is not a fan of eye drops. he flipped out and ran outside and threw a tantrum. we had to send chelsea outside to keep an eye on him because he refused to enter the office. the whole time that he was in the exam, before he freaked out, his little unibrowed brother was running around the office spitting on the carpet and yelling the word "ass" and threatening to pull down his pants, while also trying to get his little sister to put his dirty foot in her mouth. he was a total nightmare - a poster child for birth control/abstinence, according to everybody at the office.

so finally, the mom goes outside to bring the boy back in and he fights her every step of the way. he's screaming, crying, and kicking - like full-on violent reaction. the mom and doctor pinned him to the floor and were holding him down while putting the drops in his eyes. at first, it was only this family and office staff, but then somebody walked in and we had to explain what was going on, in case she was about to call child services. after he was done with the screaming, the mom looked up and said, "aren't children a joy?" i'm pretty sure she was trying to make a joke, except we were all thinking, "generally, children are a joy, but not your children...except for the little girl." when they finally left, ana felt a strong need to visit the liquor store across the parking lot. i think everybody had a headache. we all decided that this mom needs to call nanny 911 or supernanny.

this morning, a dad and his daughter stopped by to get his glasses fixed/adjusted. she was the cutest! 4 years old and totally outgoing/social. the dad was telling us that she's half puerto rican and half japanese and speaks a little japanese. he also told us that he's ready with the guns and ammo for when they start to hit their teens. hahaha...he said he plans on planting cactus and dangerous plants with thorns under all of the windows at their house. anyway, the little girl says, "you're pretty" and then, "excuse me, do you want to see what i can do?" it turned out to be a very good somersault. she wants to be a ballerina and president of the united states. i told her that was very ambitious. she also told me her favorite song is from ella. i was like, "ella fitzgerald?" and dad said, "no, ella enchanted." i'm like, "i love that movie." she said that she had the DVD and i was like, "me too!" then came the sudden realization that i have the same movie taste as a pre-schooler.

ok, so two totally opposite modes of behavior/personalities. is it the parents/parenting styles? is it internal or external forces or a combination of the two?

dumb dumb

i went to see the sisterhood of the traveling pants with siobhan today. before the movie, i made a quick trip to larry's market for some bulk candy. i wanted some chocolate covered raisins and the bin they were in was not one with a scoop. there was this funnel-like thing at the bottom, where the candy is supposed to exit. i stood there for two minutes too long figuring out how to get the candy out of the holder and into my plastic bag. somehow, i had failed to see the black plastic pull-down handle that would release the candy. i was standing there trying to pull/push the stationary plastic funnel. i was almost on the verge of asking for assistance, but luckily, the light bulb went "ding!" the larry's market people would've for sure looked at me like i was dumb. heck, i felt dumb and then was amused by my slowness.

later, we were at chris's apartment trying on our bridesmaid dresses and i had hung the dress on their wood/screen panel thing. what i failed to realize was that very close by, was chris's painting that was drying. so, oil paint got onto the plastic bag that was holding the dresses and i totally didn't notice. and so, when i took my dress out of the bag, some oil paint smeared on it. it was truly sad. now i'm hoping that the dry cleaners will be able to get it out, or at the very least, make it less notable.

i am a tool.

stamping madness

on saturday, a co-worker held a stamping party/get-together at her house. i really like to stamp and make cards, etc, but i have difficulty finding the motivation to do it regularly on my own. so anyway, i went a little crazy and bought too many new stamps. it will probably end up sitting and gathering dust along with all the other stamps and supplies that i purchased last year. a couple of years ago, i had the brilliant idea to make my own christmas cards because it would be fun and cheaper, or so i thought. not only did i fail to make the cards, i found out that the start-up is way expensive - all the paper, stamps, inks, paper punchers, embossing powders...the list goes on. since i have a renewed stamping fervor, i have decided that i will actually make my own christmas cards this year. you read it here - somebody will need to keep me accountable.

memorial day weekend

on saturday i went to tung and julie's wedding. congratulations tung and julie! i have no pictures because i kept forgetting to take out my camera. they had their reception in the boondocks of maple valley. i almost turned around, thinking that i had missed a crucial turn, but alas, i still had more to go before getting to the lodge. dinner was buffet style and the young people were the last to go. we got food a little after 9pm. it's ok because the food was still hot. afterwards, i drove home to portland. i think i fell asleep a couple of times. i probably should've pulled over and stopped...but i just wanted to get home. so dangerous. this is why i hate driving longer distances at night. i get sleepy.

portions of sunday and monday were spent helping wendy and josh print/cut/paste/stuff their wedding invitations. we were like sweatshop labor, with better working conditions. i like wendy's gocco machine. it's fun to silk screen print. sometime between invitations, we went to see madagascar. it was enjoyable and funny, but i wouldn't watch it again, and i wouldn't buy the DVD. contrary to popular belief, i do not buy every DVD that gets released. later, i went to hang out with mike and ken and got to see mike's condo by the waterfront and meet his outgoing roommate. a very nice place, blocks from the pillsner room/harborside.

on tuesday i cleaned up my room and unpacked the small amount of stuff i moved home. my plan is to move portions back home to portland every time i go back and visit, in the hopes that my big move at the end of august back home to portland for a few weeks and then to LA won't be so bad. later, i drove back to seattle. this time i was just not alert, no sleeping, but definitely zoning out. i had to buy myself a dairy queen blizzard. it helped. ice cream makes everything better.

and now, i am at home. i didn't go to work today. i feel like i'm sick...or something. but, i have no typical cold/flu symptoms. no sore throat, fever, runny nose, etc. but i'm extremely tired and my body just hurts, like i've just been working out. and yesterday, on my way to work, i was falling asleep! it was later that i realized that my drive to portland and back was plagued with a tiredness/sleepiness that was abnormal. and all day yesterday and i just had an odd sensation of not being quite right. bah. ana thinks it has to do with my bug bites. i got two big bites on friday night and they itched like crazy. so now i'm waiting for the nurse to call me back to tell me if it's fatal. what? melodramatic hypochondriac? yes, i am.

engrish

i just got back from dinner at outback steakhouse. i haven't had that much meat in one sitting in a very long time. i feel like i should now go and eat lots of vegetables just to balance it out.

random story: the other day, we were sitting around talking about accents at small group and i remembered wendy telling me a story and my mom, her mom, and her. so, i guess my mom called wendy because she needed assistance spelling out a word...i think maybe it was for medication or something. so, wendy is listing each letter and she gets to the letter "v." i think the conversation went something like this:

wendy: "vee."
my mom: "wee?"
wendy: "no, VEE."
my mom: "wee?"

i have no idea how long this goes on for...but wendy's mom hears her side of the phone conversation and wendy catches her up on what she's trying to do. so her mom gets on the phone with my mom to help tell her that the next letter is "v."

wendy [to her mom]: "vee."
wendy's mom [to my mom]: "wee."
my mom: "wee, ok."

i remember wendy telling me that she was getting frustrated. when she told me this story, i laughed so hard, i had tears in my eyes. just thinking about it cracks me up. fobby parents are fun...sometimes. everytime i remember a funny story involving my relatives...i think...gosh, i should really write this down because it is darn funny. but five minutes later, i forget.

competition

on saturday, i helped out with CBC's the amazing race 2 for the high school group. i was stationed at alki, by the statue of liberty, with the task titled "who wants to work for boeing?" once teams arrived, they had to put together a cheap wood [possibly balsa wood] airplane. one person [the boeing employee] had to stand at one marker and fly the glider airplane over their teammates who were lined up single-file about 16 feet away, behind another marker. it was pretty tough since it was raining and a little on the windy side. teams broke their planes and had to wait to scavenge parts from the planes of teams who had already completed the task. after the last team finished and left, my clue buddy and i treated ourselves to pastries and coffee at alki bakery. we were drenched with rain water, plus i had stupidly worn flip-flops so my feet were cold and dirty. gross. the evening ended with a late dinner in chinatown at hing loon with ja-hye, keone, and kristie.

sunday afternoon, i had my weekly volleyball game. this week, we were short two of our regular guy players so we had two subs. i forget how much it throws off the flow of the team when you bring in subs, even if you've played with them before. i guess our team has been in a rhythm the past couple of weeks. anyway, our second game was against the team currently ranked #1. the last time we played them, we won, though it wasn't a pleasant victory since they got kind of mad. so, we were playing and the score was back and forth until the end. we edged them out for a win by a couple of points, so that felt pretty good...for about 5 minutes.

later, as we headed upstairs for our next game, i heard some of my teammates talking about the other team. i guess the other team was complaining about a couple of our touches, like they didn't think they were perfectly clean. i was, for the most part, blissfully unaware of the other teams disgruntled complaints during the game. basically there were two sets (mine) that they thought weren't clean and they were saying things during game play. now, since we don't have refs, we call our own faults. if the one team wants to call something on the opposing team, technically, they can't, but they can mention it to the opposing team, like asking them to be aware or watch for the potential fault in question. this team didn't do that, as far was i know. and being me, when i found out that they were mad or whatever, i felt totally bad and then the win pretty much lost it's luster. they thought we were essentially cheating. i bristle at being accused of cheating. my team thought the ball contacts were legal/good, so that probably should've made me feel vindicated, but it didn't. instead, i was questioning myself and it made me paranoid enough that i went with bump setting for the rest of the evening. i was also told that that other team holds grudges. and they're all crazy intense during game play. lame...and scary.

this brings me to an interesting question that shiv posed earlier today...how do you get people who are competitive, but also gracious when they don't win or get their way? does such a healthy balance exist? i think it's possible. i'm pretty competitive about some things, but if things don't work out, it's not the end of the world, or rather, it's not totally worth flipping out about. in my mind, i'm trying to think of a time when i did flip out...and nothing comes to mind at the moment. shiv thinks it's different for boys and girls. i think this opens up a line of interesting conversation - the nature of competition.

stadium food

i love stadium food. it's right up there with fair food. i had the grand slam special [barbeque chicken on a spicy hot link on a bun] with a side of chips first. later, i really wanted garlic fries. so even though i was still really full from the grand slam, i bought the fries anyway, along with a regular-sized soda. that was a very bad decision. i felt so sick afterwards. and i could still taste the garlic fries this morning. so gross! i would say that i've learned my lesson, but i'm sure i'll end up doing the same thing next time.

pseudo-celebrity sighting

who watches the apprentice? i only watched in the beginning of the season. remember verna from the book smarts team? last night, during our weekly volleyball games, someone spotted her and wasn't sure if that was really her, but then her teammate yelled, "nice dig, verna!" the nice digs couldn't keep us from winning the game. that was my almost-celebrity sighting of the week. we wanted to ask what was up with her meltdown, but that seemed inappropriate.

tomorrow, i get to go to the mariners game against the yankees. hello garlic fries, expensive hot dogs, soda, popcorn, ice cream, and all sorts of junk food. heavenly.

a wedding - in pictures

i updated and added the photos from kelvin and christine's wedding. i was looking through the pictures and i got to the one that i had taken of myself and it was like, how have i not noticed that before? my eyes are set pretty far apart...or least it looks that way in the picture. narcissistic, i know, but i did learn from the best. :D [and i'm sure she'll beat me down the next time she sees me, even through she knows it's true.]

pam and i walked around green lake again this week. i think we're going to try and make this a regular routine because outdoor activity is good. sunlight...fresh air...activity...all good things. and i think we're going again tomorrow after work with chris.

congratulations kelvin and christine!

it's a little past 2am. friday evening was spent at the wedding rehearsal for kelvin and christine's big day. the bridesmaids were goofing off a little...talking and so not paying the appropriate amount of attention. :) dinner was at red robin's were we pigged out and still felt full...many, many hours later. we spent the night at bridesmaid na's house on inflatable mattresses. it was like sleeping on a raft.

this morning, we woke up and started the long process of hair and make-up. a good four hours later for all five of us bridesmaids, the bride herself, and her momma, we were ready. the ceremony went well and it was just the right length, meaning nobody passed out :) as with all things, not everything went according to plan, but still worked out just fine. i don't know about any of the other bridesmaids, but my walk down that aisle was as awkward as ever...you would think that two previous runs would have given me some experience...but you would be wrong. my feet started to feel all sweaty [overshare...i know, but so relevant to the awkwardness} and then i had to walk all weird to keep from sliding in my shoes and having something crazy happen...like tripping and falling. there was lots and lots of picture taking. we were so tired and when we were finally able to get back to na's house, we rested and watched the end part of the terminal. jen opted to nap for the whole time.

and then it was off to the dinner reception for family, close friends and helpers of the wedding. we ate an 10/11 course chinese dinner at noble court...or was it palace? well, it was somewhere in bellevue. during dinner, kelvin's brother, the best man, toasted the couple and surprised them with their honeymoon destination, a trip to greece. how amazing is that? makes me long for another trip to europe. after dinner, we went to the kelvin and christine's townhouse to dawdle for a bit and then i drove jen to a gym on mercer island, where her man, and other guys were playing basketball. one of the high schooler guys had rolled his ankle. having two experiences with such an injury, i was all over it with the ibuprofen, elevating the bad ankle, and tightening the sneakers to keep the swelling down. who would've thought i'd be all handy in such a situation. :)

pictures will follow...sometime soon...

upgrade

i have finally upgraded my phone. i got a samsung x475 [pictured below]. it's a lovely little flip phone with a color screen. it's a pretty basic flip phone and i love it. i can finally use my little cell phone sock that i bought when i was in spain, which was just about a year ago. scary how quickly time flies.



i've been eyeing this phone for the last two weeks and i just wasn't willing to pay a whole lot for it. then, last night, i was at northgate and one of those t-mobile authorized dealer kiosks was running a "promotion" or so they said. all i care is that i got the phone for cheaper than what i'd been told all the other times i'd been phone shopping. yay!

anger levels stabilized

last weekend, i had an extended visit home to portland and it was lovely. lots of rest/sleep and plenty of good food. i walked around the pearl district with wendy and shopped for paper for her invitations. i watched fever pitch with my brother mike and wendy. it was pretty funny. i spent some time with my parents and spent some time unpacking some of the stuff i moved home, mostly winter clothes and books from undergrad classes. i was productive and cleaned out my home closet for clothes to donate - there were clothes from junior high. it's scary and totally embarrassing to see the clothing that i used to think was attractive. looking through the pile, it was like "what the heck was i thinking?!?" over and over again. i'm sure that 10 years from now, i'll look back on pictures and say the same thing. lame.

after work on friday, i joined the other bridesmaids for christine's wedding for dinner at ginza in bellevue. i was supposed to go to inSpa with them for some relaxing and pampering, but i couldn't leave work early enough to make it, which was a bummer because i definitely needed some de-stressing. dinner was good and afterwards, we went to visit jen and arthur's future home. arthur's staying there until they get married in august.

saturday morning, i overslept and was a little late to kristie's finals for volleyball in the CSL. they had team uniform t-shirts and everything. it was pretty awesome. i caught the second game [best 2 out of 3] and it was definitely fun to watch. of course, it's always more fun to play. i had lunch with her team somewhere on ranier avenue. it's been awhile since i've had dim sum in seattle. and it was pretty good and cheap too. afterwards, we watched a little more the CSL playoffs and then i headed out to join christine, connie, and isabel for some practice hairstyling for the wedding. it didn't go so well with hot rollers for my hair. i think my hair is too short for roller, even the small ones, and also, my hair texture just might not be conducive for rollers since the final outcome was like i electrocuted myself. it was even funnier because we only did half my head. so half normal, half electrocuted. we've determined that it will have to be curling irons all the way, much more style control that way. and then it was more food at olive garden, and i hadn't even fully digested from lunch. i felt a little sick afterwards, like when you're at a buffet, and you've had one plate too many.

i updated some pictures from christine's bridal shower and from mel, vern, and ben's visit to seattle here.

little miss cranky pants

this has been the worst of weeks. i've no patience and no understanding...at all. i think that i probably wouldn't have been as short-fused if this wasn't a PMS week, but as luck would have it, it is. sorry for the overshare. :D so, 11pm on monday night, i get a voice message asking me to work on tuesday at the queen anne office. tuesday is normally my day off. i live for tuesdays when i am free to relax and do whatever i can't get done on other days that i'm working. it's the one day where i can rest/relax and recharge. and this last tuesday, it was stolen from me..STOLEN! i'm being dramatic, i know, but i can be whatever i want. it's my blog. ha.

it's not even that i had to work, because someone was really sick, and i would hope for the same kind of back-up for when i'm sick. but, the part that was so anger-inciting was that they didn't even offer to replace my day off with a different day off. I was the one that had initiate and ask to come in later the next day and had to persuade my way to getting this saturday off so i could leave for portland earlier. my expectation was that working on my day off would allow me to have a different day off in the same week. bah.

after work on tuesday, i was supposed to go to 24 hour with pam, but once i got there, i realized that i didn't have my shoes, so i had to go home. at home, i was still really, really ticked, so i went running outside. anyone who knows me understands that i absolutely HATE running outside. so, you can only imagine how ticked i was that day. it did help to get rid of the crankiness since i was just too tired to be mad.

on wednesday, i think the office felt the bad vibes rolling off me. they kept saying to me, "don't go" or "maybe you'll come back." i'm saying this now: even if for some reason, i quit teaching or hate it, i will NOT be coming back to work there...EVER. there's no amount of money that would be worth it. and it's not like i make a whole lot as it is. my new line at work whenever i am asked to deal with repeat difficult/needy patients or anything else that seems to consistently want my time and attention is this: what more do they want?!? a pound of flesh? a pint of blood? a vital organ, perhaps? all my gripes until now have been the usual gripes that people have about working. now, i truly feel exploited. it's all about my own methods of rebellion now. today, i wore flip-flops to work [which aren't allowed]. it was my way of saying "screw the rules." granted, no one of any actual authority was there to witness my subtle rebellion, but i knew it and that was enough.

the working on my day off incident was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. on it's own, during any other week, it probably wouldn't have been as big a deal. but these last few weeks, i've been tired, busy... trying to juggle all these different things and making efforts to hang out with different people, and i finally had enough. i was reading a book about a girl who tells her family and friends that she's into bird watching. she isn't really into bird watching, but it's her cover story so that a few times out of the year, she can "run away" for a short time under the guise of "bird watching." she just takes off for a few days to wherever she feels like. that's what i'd like to do. just take off for a little bit where nobody can reach you and no one makes demands on your time. i'm sure that says something about me, like being selfish, but i'm too tired to think too much about it.

tonight, shiv, garrett, and i [and a bunch of other people] went to the EMP liquid lounge to hear the audio biography play. it was a great way to release the tension built up over the past week and a half. it was fun seeing friends that i don't get to see regularly and to hear the band play. i had a mojito, which i later discovered, thanks to siobhan, was a double. it made me feel all slow and sleepy. they had a good laugh. i totally don't get why people drink in mass quantities.

i'm totally looking forward to taking off to portland for a couple of days. hopefully, i'll get some needed break time and chill out. i'm feeling way too tense.

circles of friends

i'm tired. not because it's almost 3am, but because it's been a busy week. i've come to realize that it's not easy maintaining friendships when everyone seems to run in different circles. i so admire the people who are really good about keeping in touch with everybody, even after people move and all of that.

after work on thursday, garrett, siobhan, kristie, me, and teri [from whom i get my paychecks] had dinner at mediterranean kitchen with our friend kirk who was in town visiting. they had gigantic portions...leftovers for days people. and it was really good.

after work on friday, melissa and i went to the kirkland performing arts center to catch Second City's 45th Anniversary Tour. they're an improv/sketch comedy group from chicago - famous alums include alan alda, eugene levy, dan castellaneta [voice of homer simpson], bill murray, mike myers, john belushi, tina fey, chris farley and a good portion of other former and current SNL players. it was pretty darn funny. we hurt from laughing so much. i learned that adding ninjas and spoofing dirty dancing makes everything funny.

today [saturday] siobhan and i had a bratwurst lunch at greenwood market. afterwards, i ran around getting last minute stuff, mainly pretty balloons, for christine's bridal shower. we ate, played fun games (like scandalous/hoochie toilet paper bride), and hung out. then, it was off to a potluck for vern, mel and toddler ben who are in town this weekend. more food and dessert and a whole lot of amusement from some of the guys who were singing disney classics and a little maroon 5 at the top of their lungs. it was great to hang out with the lees. they've been in the bay area for 10 months now and in that time, formerly baby ben has grown to a wild little person who talks and sings the alphabet. too cute...and too much energy. josh was mellow today, while owen is on the verge of walking on his own any day now. he also learned bartering/bribery. jo told us that if you're holding him, he'll kiss you and then point to somewhere he wants to go. he trades kisses for transport. so cute.

some pictures to follow...shortly.

stupid voting public

i just read that nikko smith was voted off of american idol. the voting public must be totally lame. there's no other explanation for scott savol and anthony federov lasting this long. they're really bad and they pick lame songs. who picks "climb every mountain" to sing?!? arg! the worst part is, i bet it's stupid girls voting for the crappy contestants. double arg!

inner anger ball

my friend and co-worker ana and i were at work today and we both felt like it was a really good day. this is only important because the last week was so bad. we both had this mysterious ball of inner anger. the anger was not inspired by any particular person or event, nor was it meant to be directed to anyone specific, but we were cranky/grumpy and short with those that we encountered at work. well, maybe it's not entirely unexplainable. we've both been operating under an increased work load and our patience probably just wore too thin this last week. shiv says the moon probably brought out the craziness too and i believe it. but, i think today marked the disappearance of our inner anger ball, which is good, because it really made us want to kick people in the teeth.

also, i've learned a new word from ana. she may not have made it up, but she's the one i heard it from so she gets the credit. "geeking" as in freaking out over geeky things or in a geeky manner. so, for example, someone that gets excited about a software update would be "geeking out" about it. "dorking out" can be used in the same manner and i think i've heard people say it before. we have to make our own fun at work.

weekend update

friday night pam and i went to see beauty shop. it was funny, cute, and at times, predictable. and, that djimon hounsou is attractive! we went to eat at applebee's afterwards and saw lots of asians in large groups. it reminded us of post youth group hang outs. and it made us feel a little old, comparatively speaking. plus, it was only like 11pm and i was about to fall asleep at the table.

saturday night pam, shiv, and i went to the JEMS spring concert. it was nice to see people that i haven't seen in awhile, AACFers, kids from warm beach, college friends, etc. good music and good times.

on sunday we had a guest speaker from the alaskan bush come and share about his ministry to the native peoples of alaska. it was really great to hear about his experiences and it was a good reminder for us to be grateful for what we have. we've been looking for a pastor for quite some time, and every now and again, people make it seem like it's the end of the world because we're without a pastor. it was some nice perspective from pastor nathan as he shared about their need for a structurally safe church building with running water and plumbing/sewage. he was a cool guy, with a fun sarcasm, feeling our pain about not having a pastor. haha.

after church i went to owen chan's 1st birthday party! it was lots of fun!
[click on the photo for more.] after the party, i stayed to help clean-up and to play with owen and all his new presents :D happy 1st birthday owen!

drama

so che comes home [oh, she's engaged by the way! and no, that is not the drama of which i speak] and she's like, "there are police cars in front of our house." minutes before, we heard a noise and a car alarm go off for a minute or two. so, hearing that there are police cars outside, i run to her window, which faces the street, and the two of us are peering out to see if we can figure out what's going on. we see several policemen and one of them is talking to a woman and we determine that she's been asked to prove she's sober. i'm giving kristie the play by play since she was in her room. after some time, i tell kristie that they're making her walk with her hands behind her back as another sobriety test. kristie said that it was handcuffs. and lo and behold, she was correct. the cops cuffed her and walked her to the back of the police cruiser. we think that she was in her car and possibly hit either someone's mailbox loud enough to set off a car alarm, or she hit a car parked on the street. it was too dark to tell what really happened. that was the big excitement of the evening.

and totally unrelated... yesterday, i went with shiv as she drove to bellevue to drop off garrett's wallet at a restaurant. when we walked in, i saw joana, james, and owen [whose 1st birthday party is coming up this weekend]. oh i love that owen, and jo and james too of course. :) owen was in his high chair and he started to reach for me and started to cry because i couldn't free him from the chair. if i had been able to stay at the restaurant, it would've been ok to free him, but since i couldn't, he had to stay in the chair, or else he'd never willingly go back in. it was so sad to see him cry a little. but i did feel loved since he wanted me to pick him up and play, though it might have had more to do with getting out of the chair than with me, but i like to think that he recognized me and wanted to play. i felt so bad that i couldn't play and that he had to stay in the chair. in a calm moment, shiv and i made our exit and on the way out, i waved a quick bye to the guys, whom i'd forgotten about the moment i saw owen...sorry guys.

He has risen.

easter seemed to sneak up quickly this year. i don't know that i gave it much thought in the days before, but i did have some time to reflect on sunday. easter marks the time of year when i first became a christian [11 years ago] and when i got baptized [7 years ago]. it's kind of amazing to look back and see how much i've changed, and stayed the same. :)

sunday service was great. we had a slide show and sharing from tim, a dentist from church who had been in stationed in fallujah. people got baptized, lots of people were in attendance - it is easter afterall.

after service, i had a church meeting for the worship team. here's a funny story that might be familiar to you if you've served in a church or fellowship before. a month and a half ago, i was asked if i would be open to participating in the worship ministry and possibly leading on occasion. my response was that i would be open to the idea. i think the worship ministry is changing some things up. so...last week, i get this e-mail about a worship leaders meeting. and i found out that i'm part of a regular rotation of worship leaders and that we'll be forming a vision and purpose for the worship ministry as well as doing a study together. my "sure, i'd be open to the idea" somehow morphed into a "sign me up and commit me to this ministry." but now, it's back to allowing me to sit in on the worship meetings and seeing how things happen and then a choice to be in or out.

after church, a few of us went to this new place on the ave, the green zone, to have tea and egg balls. i had never had an egg ball before - they're like belgian waffles, except it's egg shaped, rather than waffled, and the batter tastes better. the man behind the counter had me point out what i wanted on a menu that had chinese subtitles. i meant to point at a honey milk tea, but i think my finger drifted upwards toward lemon tea, because that's what i got. it was made with real lemons and tasted like lemonade green tea. it was really good and plus, i didn't have the heart to communicate that it was something else i wanted and it just didn't matter that much. and it turned out that everybody else ordered the same drink because it was that good.

he wrote my total on a small slip of paper and slid it across the counter to me. this confirmed my suspicion that he didn't speak english, or at least, not very fluently. it then made me want to figure out how we could make things easier. i suggested to jeanette that she try mandarin, but we saw that mandarin wasn't really working and his accent seemed to have some cantonese to it. so when joyce and wing-onn got there, i asked joyce to try cantonese, which worked. the man was definitely more at ease and in a very short time, we learned that he pretty much only speaks cantonese, he's from vancouver, ca and the shop belongs to his son and he was just filling in for the day to give his son a day off, and the cute posters advertising the egg balls were designed by his son's friend. joyce really wanted one and he said he would ask his son to get one for her for the next time she came by. i just thought it was so great of him to work for his son despite the fact that it might have been tough communicating with customers. it really made my day.

for the evening, i went to my first easter dinner. chris and jason fong's parents invited people to join their family for dinner and it was a lot of fun. there were appetizers and lots and lots of food and dessert, including jello in the shape of eggs. after dinner we played apples to apples and uno. it was just a really great day, for so many reasons.

He has risen indeed.

TV DVD

i got hooked on re-watching dawson's creek on dvd. siobhan and kristie both have a number of seasons on DVD and i came home to shiv watching season 1. after she left, i kept watching and skipped over to season 3, and the next thing i know, it's close to 3am. 3AM people!!! too crazy. and...i just bought season 1 of the pretender. i loved that show.

bad news / good news

friday afternoon, i found a small envelope from columbia teachers college. never a good sign. so, i braced myself for bad news, and there it was.

I regret to inform you... blah blah blah and so on. i was mildly disappointed, but i knew columbia was kind of a reach. twice now columbia has denied me. i'm seeing the pattern for the lack of love from new york. and so, a door was clearly shut.

that evening, a bunch of the girls went out to spazzo's for happy hour to celebrate grace's engagement to the totally awesome joe. we had us some fun :)

today, robert (potential seattle u law student starting fall 2005) and i had lunch at gordito's and then visited the seattle u campus. it was smaller than i expected, and i'd been there twice before. we skipped over the education building since i've seen it and toured the law building, which is pretty swank. when i got back home, another letter was waiting for me from UCLA. and it was another small envelope. i didn't think that boded well for me, but at the urging of kristie and shiv, i ripped it open, and saw the following words:

I am very pleased to inform you...

and with a small envelope, a new door opens. this pretty much seals my future for the next couple of years. this fall, i'm bound for LA. funny, the one place i never wanted to go as an undergrad, california.

hay fever

every spring, my system turns against me and decides to freak out. this year is worse because of all the lovely weather we've been having. and, i have a new allergy reaction to add, coughing and weird throat issues. it feels like i can't breathe in and out as easily, like when you're sick or have asthma. this can in no way be good news. and since my eyes and sinuses are going crazy too, i need it to rain - ASAP and for many, many, many days.

bride and prejudice

i just got back from watching bride and prejudice, gurinder chadha's version of jane austen's pride and prejudice. it was cheesy fun. i loved every minute of it. what's not to love? there's singing, dancing, and a jane austen storyline. i'm so buying this movie on dvd.

as requested...

it feels weird taking a picture of yourself, but i suppose it's not any weirder than running to the mirror every few minutes to check out my own hair. haha. for wendy and chris:



huh. and now seeing the hair in a picture, it doesn't look as short as i thought. oh well.

bad eyes, shorter hair

i had my eyes examined today and sadly, i'm getting more nearsighted. boo.

in totally unrelated news, i cut my hair. i had maybe seven inches or so hacked off. it now falls just below the shoulders. and it's great! i would've gone shorter, but since i'm in a wedding in may, i kept it long enough for a wedding hair-do. i love it. shiv and garrett were laughing because i couldn't stop playing with it and running to the mirror to look at it.

update

i rested earlier, which means i'm feeling a little too awake now. so, i decided to change the look of the blog. wendy said it's very pink. picasso had his blue period and i'm having my pink. and i'm now using the commenting system offered by blogger. bye-bye previously posted comments.

feeling sickly

i am ill. who i caught this cold from i do not know. but they suck. my throat is scratchy and itchy and when i cough, it totally hurts. bah.

at robert's request, i have updated photos that can be viewed here. it's pictures from fall through last weekend. i need to start snapping more photos, but i always seem to forget my camera.

tired.

i had the privilege to be a part of the staff at theophilus 2005 this past weekend. there's been so much that's been going through my head all weekend. i don't know how to express most of the thoughts just yet, but i'm hoping that i'll get there.

catching up

i've been meaning to blog for the last week, but i kept forgetting.

a quick summary:

last weekend i went to LA for an application interview at UCLA and also hung out with grace, joe kwon, their friends, joe ying, and sam pack. there was lots of good food and fun.

on tuesday, my friend from high school was in town for a job interview and i got to have dinner with him and some of his friends. it was really fun because i haven't seen him since fall quarter of freshman year and, two of his friends are in the PT program at UW with melissa. small world.

i watched million dollar baby with pam, stone, and dennis. i love that clint eastwood and morgan freeman. when clint cried, i cried. big surprise.

i have injured myself yet again. i have this shooting pain in the right side of my lower back. if i sit funny or move too suddenly, the pain shoots down my butt into my outer leg until it hits my knee. this is obviously not good. i'm going to call my doctor. last time i had pain like this, it was after i messed up by right ankle during fall quarter of sophomore year. except that time, i waited like 8 months to take care of it. i honestly kept thinking that it would just go away. so, i think that this might have something to do with messing up my left ankle a few weeks back...like overcompensating or something like that. i feel like an old lady.

why?!?

i was at the QFC post office this morning and i was standing in line behind a mom who had two little boys with her. they looked about 4 years old. the post office is near the magazines and on the cover of JANE magazine, it's paris hilton.

boys: "mom, it's paris and nicole."
mom: "no, it's just paris, nicole isn't on the magazine."
boys: "paris and nicole...paris and nicole..." [chanting]

i was amused and horrified all at the same time. why do they even know about paris and nicole? are they watching the simple life? and if so, WHY?!?

accident prone.

so i twisted/turned my ankle a couple of days ago. just about an hour ago, my car ran into a lamppost in my neighborhood. it's icy conditions here in portland with freezing rain and most of the roads outside of my neighborhood are drivable. my dad gave me the suggestion that i try an alternate in my neighborhood to get to our house. so, in low gear, i tried his way, and it involved making a right turn going downhill. i was starting to turn when the car started sliding sideways and the car jumped the curb and was headed towards somebody's lawn and house, so i turned the wheel away, which caused the driver's side door to slam into the lamppost, which then somehow helped turn my car away from a bunch of brick-structured mailboxes and driveway lights and back out onto the street, where i finally stopped sliding and found myself parked against the curb.

there were these kids in a nearby cul-de-sac who made their way over and were like, "ma'am, ma'am, are you okay?" my first thought was, "i'm not a ma'am." i was totally fine and i told them that i was. they offered to get their parents, but it was so icy and one of them fell on their front step, and i told them not to bother, and that i had a cell phone with me to call for help. i did ask them how much damage i did, and they said the only thing i hit was the lamppost and someone's lawn. they also told me the only place that sustained any impact on my car was my driver's side door, so that was a relief. i called up to my house and my brother andy walked down in metal football cleats to haul me up the hill, with my bad left ankle no less. it was only after i got home that it hit me how scared i was, sitting in the car spinning and out of control. andy was like, "you don't have to cry." i yelled back, "i'm traumatized and i'll cry if i want to." i wasn't really crying, it was more sniffles and a couple of tears, just to get it out of my system. i've been rear-ended and had someone back into my car before, but this is the first time where i'm at fault, though i'd rather blame the weather and icy roads. so later, when the ice melts, i'll have to trek back down to get my car, and all of my stuff. so lame.

no balance

a few years ago, i was playing intramural volleyball at the IMA, and twisted my right ankle. it was a mess of pain, black, black bruising, swelling, and all-around ugliness. i was told that i tore something and that it was really, really bad. since then, my right ankle has been bigger than my left, and i already had good-sized ankles to begin with.

just a few hours ago, i was walking downstairs and i didn't bother turning on the light, because, how hard is it to walk down some stairs? apparently, it's harder than i thought. i missed a step, lost my balance, and landed wrongly on my left ankle and it twisted. it hurt...a lot. i iced it a little and now i can feel it starting to swell. it hurts to put weight on it. i think that may not be a good sign. but, at least now my left and right ankle are even.

injured.

i had a volleyball game today and during one game, i had a collision with my teammate on the floor. now my lower back hurts at my spine and i think i see bruising. this can't be good.

let it snow

it's snowing outside...right this minute! and, it looks like it's sticking, at least for now. i can only hope to wake up to a lot more snow, which means...no work!!!

a sinking feeling

ryan has brought it to my attention that the neighborhood where i currently live is sinking. you can read about the greenwood neighborhood bog problems here. and the picture that's included with the article - that's my street!

last night, i went to see the lion king at the paramount theater. it was fantastic. the various sets and the costumes were visually stunning. the singing and dancing were amazing. mufasa, scar, zazu, and little simba were great. adult simba was a little weak by comparison. it was just so much fun to be in the audience watching the story unfold. and we were pretty darn close - like the 14th/15th row from the stage. too bad the guy in front of me had a really big head. :)

my application deadlines are coming up fast...like next friday/saturday for UCLA and columbia. i decided to fly to LA for the UCLA interview (the interview is an application requirement) at the end of the month. yay! playing in LA!